This is not really US bashing, it is actually related to a personal choice, and by explaining my thought process I think I am able to represent an average person here (don't get me wrong, my ego is big and I don't think of my self as average in most cases, but in terms of lifestyle and class I certainly think I am.) I also don't want to discuss Trump at all. I recently had a debate with someone who still thinks US provides the most to people who live in it, so I want to see what can US give me that would make me want to live there instead of my (very unimpressive) Country.
I am Croatian, our country had a war, is now in EU, our politicians are generally incompetent, we are no economic force, our salaries are not impressive. I find it beautiful, but I also find US beautiful and I won't be discussing emotional reasons to live in either place here. Just saying, I'm not from Scandinavia or Germany to rightfully brag about doing things "better" than the US, but most European countries (even those not in EU) share certain privileges.
I am university educated with a Masters at the moment, it didn't cost me anything, and I have work experience in one unrelated but very solid field. However while this maybe puts me a bit above average, I am not an entrepreneur (like most people aren't) and have no interest or ability to run my own business. I also don't need to make tons of money. I of course appreciate a good salary and want to be able to live a sustainable, self reliant, comfortable and safe lifestyle but for me that means - owning an apartment/place to live, not having debt, having retirement savings, being protected in cases of sickness or medical emergencies, being able to pay bills, go out, take courses in something that interests me, travel affordably, have IKEA furniture and wear H&M. Nothing extravagant, because I realistically don't need it and it doesn't motivate me.
I also care about work life balance A LOT. I want to have free time for myself, for my interests, for people. I don't want my job dominating my life. Most people don't. We need time off, we need vacations. I fear that if I go to US, I will lose generous vacation time and work will be much more intense. I would probably not have a month off or more every year and limitless sick days. I will make more money, but everything will be more expensive and I will desperately depend on my job for medical insurance (so if I quit or lose my job for a short while, I can't get sick?). I'd rather be unemployed somewhere where it doesn't threaten my livelihood than working somewhere where I can't afford to quit.

This brings me to medical insurance. I do understand that while US doesn't have a free health care, you are often insured through work? But many are not. I saw tons of people on reddit explain how much they got into debt because of an accident that involved emergency (so not like they had a choice not to go). It also seems that your insurance plan might not cover many things if you're not rich which leads to so many movie and show plots where characters have to do something crazy to afford healthcare for themselves or loved one. I hear the argument about being able to choose your doctors but none of it makes sense to me, what do I need to choose for? If I am sick, the ONLY thing I want is that I am helped and cured and that I don't have to worry about money during that. People still have private providers if they want to pay for some additional comforts - but even those private providers aren't that expensive in comparison because they still have to make sense to people who are getting it for free.
Now, I don't want kids which saves me a lot of problems. But the majority of people do, so let's also explore what that would mean. If I wanted to have a kid in my shitty country, I would not need to be rich. My medical expenses would be covered. Kindergardens are cheap or even free (I will mention, but not focus on the cultural element too where most of us get tremendous help from our families allowing people more free time, but to an extent that is not a guarantee for all). I head that childcare in US is so expensive that often one parent has to stop working because they simply can't manage it. So in the country where without money you're nothing, one person has to lose their job and the other has to better not end up losing it no matter how bad it gets.
Then we'd have t think about school. Public schools in my country and a lot of Europe are better than private schools, and poor kids and rich kids attend them together (usually when rich kids go to a private school its because they weren't good students in a public school). So the equal opportunity is literally there. I wouldn't have to save ridiculous sums I'd much rather have in my own savings for college because a kid will go into college by merit. And if I do need to put my kid in a private college because they were bad academically and I don't want them to do a trade school (which btw lead to very good employment opportunities and should not be dismissed), it won't be expensive because again, it's competing with free stuff.
Americans will now say that at least their higher education is the best in world. Ok. I think our free universities are very good too but objectively yes, expensive private universities can afford state of the art facilities and renowned professionals who come and teach. But the class plays such a huge role in where someone will end up. There are some scholarships to keep up the appearance but from what I understand many of the US public schools are very poor quality (or the quality ones require you to live in a certain limited location), while rich kids get prepared from early on. A good public school student who maybe won't get a special scholarship because they aren't extraordinary in sport (what does that have to do with anything?) or in any other way that will get huge attention will be worse off than a bad private school student, because in the end while merit might help a small minority, money will help everyone to get their place even if they're not academically gifted at all. It seems to me that these amazing colleges just serve to give credibility to the already rich who will go on being rich anyway (so that they can pretend that they're actually smart cause they went to Harvard), and maintain the illusion that even the poomiddle class can do it if they work hard enough.
My final point I know the least about is property. In my country most of us own property - poor, middle class, upper middle class, all have some property they inherited or are able to buy apartments for their kids. During the socialist time many people were given property - my grandpa used his completely average middle class Yugoslavia salary to buy each of his kids an apartment, a big house on the seaside etc. I understand that maybe this was an extraordinary situation and market isn't like that, but I also don't understand why Americans need huge houses and cars and debt either. Maybe this is more lifestyle issue than something that belongs here. But the debt part - I understand you are forced to use a credit card in america or else you don't get access to housing loans. So a person who doesn't buy into the whole consumerism and wants to save money is actually penalized the one time they need to loan to buy property and stop renting.
You will point out that none of these things are free and we all pay more taxes. Sure, but again, for an average person's average salary with the taxes deducted from it, we get healthcare, education, retirement, care in cases of emergencies and good social programmes as a support through hard times. If your goal is to be an entrepreneur, get filthy rich and don't want too many limitations or taxes because you don't have to give a shit, maybe US is the place for you.
But most people, including smart and educated people, want a good life. They want balance, they want to be safe, they want their family to be taken care of, they want the freedom to quit a bad job or get sick without going bankrupt, they want time to themselves and people in their lives. i just don't see how the US provides that.
Tl;dr I don't think US is a good place for most people to live in because it forces you to have to be rich to have a decent life. I don't really see what I'd get as an average/middle class person in the US and think life for that group is better in almost any European country (including small, economically weaker ones). I don't think pursuit of money is really a choice in that context and i don't think it's a great way to live a life

Ok so my coworker had a credit score of 680 and bought a new car and tried trading in the old one but was told the car loan charge off but it was paid off he. He got that taken care of and removed but his credit score(equifax) went down 23 points. Anyone know why??

Trading 10-30 k diamonds for Adopt Me items or just offer.

On Spells and Society, or how 5e spells completely change everyone's lives.

Today i have a confession to make: i'm a little bit of a minmaxer. And honestly, i think that's a pretty desirable trait in a DM. The minmaxer knows the rules, and exploits them to maximum efficiency.
"But wait, what does that have to do with spell use in society?" - someone, probably.
Well, the thing is that humans are absolutely all about minmaxing. There's a rule in the universe that reads "gas expands when hot", and suddenly we have steam engines (or something like that, i'm a political scientist not an engineer). A rule says 1+1 = 2, and suddenly we have calculus, computers and all kinds of digital stuff that runs on math. Sound is energy? Let's convert that shit into electricity, run it through a wire and turn it back into sound on the other side.
Bruh. Science is just minmaxing the laws of nature. Humanity in real life is just a big bunch of munchkins, and it should be no different in your setting.
And that is why minmaxing magic usage is something societies as a whole would do, specially with some notable spells. Today i will go in depth on how and why each of these notable mentions has a huge impact on a fantasy society.
We'll go from lowest level to highest, keeping in mind that the lower level a spell the more common it should be to find someone who has it, so often a level 2-3 spell will have more impact than a level 9 spell.

Mending (cantrip).
Repair anything in one minute. Your axe lost its edge? Tore your shirt? Just have someone Mend it.
Someone out there is crying "but wait! Not every village has a wizard!" and while that is true, keep in mind any High Elf knows a cantrip, as can any Variant Human.
A single "mender" could replace a lot of the work a smith, woodworker or seamstress does, freeing their time to only work on making new things rather than repair old ones.

Prestidigitation (cantrip).
Clean anything in six seconds. Committed axe murders until the axe got blunt, and now there's blood everywhere? Dog shit on your pillow out of spite? Someone walked all over the living room with muddy boots? Just Prestidigitate it away.
This may look like a small thing, but its actually huge when you apply it to laundry. Before washing machines were a thing housewives had to spend several hours a week washing them manually, and with Prestidigitation you can just hire someone to get it done in a few minutes.
A single "magic cleaner" can attend to several dozen homes, if not hundreds, thus freeing several hours of the time of dozens of women.
Fun fact: there's an interesting theory that says feminism only existed because of laundry machines and similar devices. Women found themselves having more free time, which they used to read and socialize. Educated women with more contacts made for easy organization of political movements, and the fact men were now able to do "the women's work" by pushing a button meant men were less opposed to losing their housewives' labor. Having specialized menders and magic cleaners could cause a comparable revolution in a fantasy setting, and help explain why women have a similar standing to men even in combat occupations such as adventuring.

Healing in general (1st-2nd level).
This one is fairly obvious. A commoner has 4 hit points, that means just about any spell is a full heal to the average person. That means most cuts, stab wounds, etc. can be solved by the resident cleric. Even broken bones that would leave you in bed for months can be solved in a matter of seconds as soon as the holy man arrives.
But that's nothing compared to the ability to cure diseases. While the only spell that can cure diseases is Lesser Restoration, which is second level, a paladin can do it much more easily with just a Lay on Hands. This means if one or two people catch a disease it can just be eradicated with a touch.
However doing that comes with a cost. If everyone is instantly expunged of illness, the populace does not build up their immune systems. Regular disease becomes less common, sure, but whenever it is reintroduced (by, say, immigrants or contact with less civilized humanoids) it can spread like wildfire, afflicting people so fast that no amount of healers will have the magic juice to deal with it.
Diseases become rare, plagues become common.

Continual Flame (2nd).
Ok, this one is a topic i love and could easily be its own post.
There's an article called "Why the Falling Cost of Light Matters", which goes in detail about how man went from chopping wood for fire, to using animal fat for candles, then other oils, whale oil, kerosene, then finally incandescent light bulbs, and more recently LED lights. Each of these leaps is orders of grandeur more efficient than the previous one, to the point that the cost of light today is about 500,000 times cheaper than it was for for a caveman. And until the early 1900s the only way mankind knew of making light was to set things on fire.
Continual Flame on the other hand allows you to turn 50gp worth of rubies and a 2nd level spell slot into a torch that burns forever. In a society that spends 60 hours of labor to be able to generate 140 minutes of light, this is a huge game changer.
This single spell, which i am 99% sure was just created as an excuse for why the dungeon is lit despite going for centuries without maintenance, allows you to have things like public lighting. Even if you only add a new "torchpost" every other week or month sooner or later you'll be left with a neatly lit city, specially if the city has had thousands of years in which to gather the rubies and light them up.
And because the demand of rubies becomes so important, consider how governments would react. Lighting the streets is a public service, if its strategically relevant to make the city safer at night, would that not warrant some restrictions on ruby sales? Perhaps even banning the use of rubies in jewelry?
Trivia: John D. Rockefeller, the richest man in history, gained his wealth selling kerosene. Kerosene at the time was used to light lamps. Gasoline was invented much later, when Rockefeller tasked a bunch of scientists to come up with a use for some byproducts of the kerosene production. This illustrates how much money is to be had in the lighting industry, and you could even have your own Rockefeller ruby baron in your game. I shall call him... Dohn J. Stonebreaker. Perfect name for a mining entrepreneur.
Whether the ruby trade ends up a monopoly under the direct supervision of the king or a free market, do keep in mind that Continual Flame is by far the most efficient way of creating light.

Gentle Repose (2nd).
Cast it on a corpse, and it stays preserved for 10 days.
This has many potential uses, from preserving foodstuffs (hey, some rare meats are expensive enough to warrant it) to keeping the bodies of old rulers preserved. Even if a ruler died of old age and cannot be resurrected, the body could be kept "fresh" out of respect/ceremony. Besides, it keeps the corpse from becoming undead.

Skywrite (2nd).
Ok, this one is mostly a gag. While the spell can be used by officials to make official announcements to the populace, such as new laws or important news, i like to just use it for spam. I mean, its a ritual spell that writes a message on the sky; what else would people use it for?
Imagine you show up in a city, and there's half a dozen clouds reading "buy at X, we have what you need", "get your farming supplies over at Joe's store" or "vote Y for the city council".
The possibilities are endless, and there's no way the players can expect it. Just keep in mind that by RAW the spell can only do words, meaning no images. No Patrick, "8===D" is not a word.

Zone of Truth (2nd).
This one is too obvious. Put all suspects of a crime into a ZoT, wait a couple minutes to make sure they fail the save, then ask each one if he did it. Sure its not a perfect system, things like the Ring of Mind Shielding still exist, but it's got a better chance of getting the right guy than most medieval justice systems. And probably more than a few contemporary ones. All while taking only a fraction of the time.
More importantly, with all the average crimes being handled instantly, the guards and investigators have more time to properly investigate the more unusual crimes that might actually involve a Thought Shield, Ring of Mind Shielding or a level 17 Mastermind.
There is a human rights argument against messing with people's minds in any way, which is why this may not be practiced in every kingdom. But there are definitely some more lawful societies that would use ZoT on just about every crime.
Why swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth when you can just stand in a zone of truth?
Another interesting use for ZoT is oaths. When someone is appointed into an office, gets to a high rank in the military or a guild, just put them in a ZoT while they make their oath to stand for the organization's values and yadda yadda. Of course they can be corrupted later on, but at least you make sure they're honest when they are sworn in.

Sending (3rd).
Sending is busted in so many ways.
The more "vanilla" use of it is to just communicate over long distances. We all know that information is important, and that sometimes getting information a whole day ahead can lead to a 40% return on a massive two-year investment. Being able to know of invasions, monsters, disasters, etc. without waiting days or weeks for a courier can be vital for the survival of a nation. Another notable example is that one dude who ran super fast for a while to be the first to tell his side of a recent event.
But the real broken thing here is... Sending can Send to any creature, on any plane; the only restriction being "with which you are familiar". In D&D dead people just get sent to one of the afterlife planes, meaning that talking to your dead grandfather would be as simple as Sending to him. Settling inheritance disputes was never easier!
Before moving on to the next point let me ask you something: Is a cleric familiar with his god? Is a warlock familiar with his patron?

Speak With Dead (3rd).
Much like Sending, this lets you easily settle disputes. Is the senate/council arguing over a controversial topic? Just ask the beloved hero or ruler from 200 years ago what he thinks on the subject. As long his skeleton still has a jaw (or if he has been kept in Gentle Repose), he can answer.
This can also be used to ask people who killed them, except murderers also know this. Plan on killing someone? Accidentally killed someone? Make sure to inutilize the jaw. Its either that, being so stealthy the victim can't identify you, or being caught.

Note on spell availability.
Oh boy. No world-altering 4th level spells for some reason, and suddenly we're playing with the big boys now.
Spells up to 3rd level are what I'd consider "somewhat accessible", and can be arranged for a fee even for regular citizens. For instance the vanilla Priest statblock (MM348) is a 5th level cleric, and the standard vanilla Druid (MM346) a 4th level druid.
Spells of 5th level onward will be considered something only the top 1% is able to afford, or large organizations such as guilds, temples or government.

Dream (5th).
I was originally going to put Dream along with Sending and Telepathy as "long range communication", but decided against it due to each of them having unique uses.
And when it comes to Dream, it has the unique ability of allowing you to put your 8 hours of sleep to good use. A tutor could hire someone to cast Dream on him, thus allowing him to teach his student for 8 hours at any distance. This is a way you could even access hermits that live in the middle of nowhere or in secluded monasteries. Very wealthy families or rulers would be willing to pay a good amount of money to make sure their heirs get that extra bit of education.
Its like online classes, but while you sleep!
Another interesting use is for cheating. Know a princess or queen you like? She likes you back? Her dad put 400 trained soldiers between you? No problemo! Just find a 9th level Bard, Warlock or Wizard, but who am i kidding, of course it'll be a bard. And that bard is probably you. Now you have 8 hours to do whatever you want, and no physical evidence will be left.

Raise Dead (5th).
Few things matter more in life than death. And the ability to resurrect people has a huge impact on society. The impact is so huge that this topic needs topics of its own.
First, diamond monopoly. Remember what i said about how Continual Flame would lead to controlled ruby sales due to its strategic value? This is the same principle, but a hundred times stronger. Resurrection is a huge strategic resource. It makes assassinations harder, can be used to bring back your officials or highest level soldiers over and over during a war, etc. This means more authoritarian regimes would do everything within their power to control the supply and stock of diamonds. Which in turn means if anyone wants to have someone resurrected, even in times of peace, they'll need to call in a favor, do a quest, grease some hands...
Second, resurrection insurance. People hate risks. That's why insurance is such a huge industry, taking up about 15% of the US GDP. People insure their cars, houses... even their lives. Resurrection just means "life insurance" is taken more literally. This makes even more sense when you consider how expensive resurrection is: nobody can afford it in one go, but if you pay a little every month or year you can save up enough to have it done when the need arises.
This is generally incompatible with the idea of a State-run monopoly over diamonds, but that just means different countries within a setting can take different approaches.
To make things easier, i even used some microeconomics to make a sheet in my personal random generators to calculate the price of such a service. Just head to the "Insurance" tab and fill in the information relative to your setting.
With actual life insurance resurrection can cost as little as 5gp a year for humans or 8sp a year for elves, making resurrection way more affordable than it looks.
Also, do you know why pirates wore a single gold earring? It was so that if your body washes up on the shore whoever finds it can use the money to arrange a proper burial. Sure there's a risk of the finder taking it and walking away, but the pirates did it anyway. With resurrection in play, might as well just wear a diamond earring instead and hope the finder is nice enough to bring you back.
I got so carried away with the whole insurance thing i almost forgot: the possibility of resurrection also changes how murders are committed.
If you want someone dead but resurrection exists, you have to remove the vital organs. Decapitation would be far more common. Sure resurrection is still possible, but it requires higher level spells or Reincarnate, which has... quirks.
As a result it should be very obvious when someone was killed by accident or an overreaction, and when someone was specifically out to kill the victim.

Scrying (5th).
This one is somewhat obvious, in that everyone and their mother knows it helps finding people. But who needs finding? Well, that would be those who are hiding.
The main use i see for this spell, by far, is locating escaped criminals. Just collect a sample of hair or blood when arresting someone (or shipping them to hard labor which is way smarter), and if they escape you'll be almost guaranteed to successfully scry on them.
A similar concept to this is seen in the Dragon Age series. If you're a mage the paladins keep a sample of your blood in something called a phylactery, and that can be used to track you down. There's even a quest or two about mages trying to destroy their phylacteries before escaping.
Similarly, if you plan a jailbreak it would be highly beneficial to destroy the blood/hair sample first. As a matter of fact i can even see a thieves guild hiring a low level party to take out the sample while the professional infiltrators get the prisoner out. Keep in mind both events must be done at the same time, otherwise the guards will just collect a new sample or would have already taken it to the wizard.
But guards aren't the only ones with resources. A loan shark could keep blood samples of his debtors, a mobster can keep one of those who owe him favors, etc. And the blood is ceremoniously returned only when the debt is fully paid.

Teleportation Circle (5th), Transport Via Plants (6th).
In other words, long range teleportation. This is such a huge thing that it is hard to properly explain how important it is.
Teleportation Circle creates a 10ft. circle, and everyone has one round to get in and appear on the target location. Assuming 30ft. movement that means you can get 192 people through, which is a lot of potential merchants going across any distance. Or 672 people dashing.
Math note: A 30ft radius square around a 10ft. diameter square, minus the 4 original squares. Or [(6*2+2)^2]-4 squares of 5ft. each. Hence 192 people.
Getting hundreds of merchants, workers, soldiers, etc. across any distance is nothing to scoff at. In fact, it could help explain why PHB item prices are so standardized: Arbitrage is so easy and cheap that price differences across multiple markets become negligible. Unless of course countries start setting up tax collectors outside of the permanent teleportation circles in order to charge tariffs.
Transport Via Plants does something very similar but it requires 5ft of movement to go through, which means less people can be teleported. On the other hand it doesn't burn 50gp and can take you to any tree the druid is familiar with, making it nearly impossible for tax collectors to be waiting on the other side. Unfortunately druids tend to be a lot less willing to aid smugglers, so your best bet might be a bard using spells that don't belong to his list.
With these methods of long range teleportation not only does trade get easier, but it also becomes possible to colonize or inhabit far away places. For instance if someone finds a gold mine in the antarctic you could set up a mine and bring food and other supplies via teleportation.

Major Image (6th level slot).
Major Image is a 3rd level spell that creates an illusion over a 20ft cube, complete with image, sound, smell and temperature. When cast with a 6th level slot or higher, it lasts indefinitely.
That my friends, is a huge spell. Why get the world's best painter to decorate the ceiling of your cathedral when you can just get an illusion made in six seconds?
The uses for decorating large buildings is already good, but remember: we're not restricted to sight.
Cast this on a room and it'll always be cool and smell nice. Inns would love that, as would anyone who always sleeps or works in the same room. Desert cities have never been so chill.
You can even use an illusion to make the front of your shop seem flashier, while hollering on loop to bring customers in.
The only limit to this spell is your imagination, though I'm pretty sure it was originally made just to hide secret passages.
Trivia: the ki-rin (VGM163) can cast Major Image as a 6th level spell, at will. It's probably meant to give them fabulous lairs yet all it takes is someone doing the holy horsey a big favor, and it could enchant the whole city in a few hours. Shiniest city on the planet, always at a nice temperature and with a fragrance of lilac, gooseberries or whatever you want.

Simulacrum (7th).
Spend 12 hours and 1500gp worth of ruby dust, and get a clone of yourself. Notably, each caster can only have one simulacrum, regardless of who the person he cloned is.
How this changes the world? By allowing the rich and powerful to be in two places at once. Kings now have a perfect impersonator who thinks just like them. A wealthy banker can run two branches of his company. Etc.
This makes life much easier, but also competes with Continual Flame over resources.
It also gives "go fuck yourself" a whole new meaning, making the sentence a valid Suggestion.

Clone (8th).
If there's one spell i despise, its Clone.
Wizard-only preemptive resurrection. Touch spell, costs 1.000gp worth of diamonds each time, takes 120 days to come into effect, and creates a copy of the creature that the soul occupies if the original dies. Oh, and the copy can be made younger.
Why is it so despicable? Because it makes people effectively immortal. Accidents and assassinations just get you sent to the clone, and old age can be forever delayed because you keep going back to younger versions of yourself. Being a touch spell means the wizard can cast it on anyone he wants.
In other words: high level wizards, and only wizards, get to make anyone immortal.
That means wizards will inevitably rule any world in which this spell exists.
Think about it. Rulers want to live forever. Wizards can make you live forever. Wizards want other stuff, which you must give them if you want to continue being Cloned. Rulers who refuse this deal eventually die, rulers who accept stick around forever. Natural selection makes it so that eventually the only rulers left are those who sold their soul to wizards. Figuratively, i hope.
The fact that there are only a handful of wizards out there who are high enough level to cast the spell means its easier for them organize and/or form a cartel or union (cartels/unions are easier to maintain the fewer suppliers are involved).
This leads to a dystopian scenario where mages rule, kings are authoritarian pawns and nobody else has a say in anything. Honestly it would make for a fun campaign in and of itself, but unless that's specifically what you're going for it'll just derail everything else.
Oh, and Clone also means any and all liches are absolute idiots. Liches are people who turned themselves into undead abominations in order to gain eternal life at the cost of having to feed on souls. They're all able to cast 9th level wizard spells, so why not just cast an 8th level one and keep undeath away? Saves you the trouble of going after souls, and you keep the ability to enjoy food or a day in the sun.

Demiplane (8th).
Your own 30ft. room of nothingness. Perfect place for storage and a DM's nightmare given how once players have access to it they'll just start looting furniture and such. Oh the horror.
But alas, infinite storage is not the reason this is a broken spell. No sir.
Remember: you can access someone else's demiplane. That means a caster in city 1 can put things into a demiplane, and a caster in city 2 can pull them out of any surface.
But wait, there's more! There's nothing anywhere saying you can't have two doors to the same demiplane open at once. Now you're effectively opening a portal between two places, which stays open for a whole hour.
But wait, there's even more! Anyone from any plane can open a door to your neat little demiplane. Now we can get multiple casters from multiple planes connecting all of those places, for one hour. Sure this is a very expensive thing to do since you're having to coordinate multiple high level individuals in different planes, but the payoff is just as high. We're talking about potential integration between the most varied markets imaginable, few things in the multiverse are more valuable or profitable. Its a do-it-yourself Sigil.
One little plot hook i like about demiplanes is abandoned/inactive ones. Old wizard/warlock died, and nobody knows how to access his demiplanes. Because he's at least level 15 you just know there's some good stuff in there, but nobody can get to it. Now the players have to find a journal, diary, stored memory or any other way of knowing enough about the demiplane to access it.

True Polymorph (9th).
True Polymorph. The spell that can turn any race into any other race, or object. And vice-versa. You can go full fairy godmother and turn mice into horses. For a spell that can change anything about one's body it would not be an unusual ruling to say it can change one's sex. At the very least it can turn a man into a chair, and the chair into a woman (or vice-versa of course).
But honestly, that's just the tip of the True Polymorph iceberg. Just read this more carefully:
> You transform the creature into a different creature, the creature into a nonmagical object, or the object into a creature
This means you can turn a rock or twig into a human. A fully functional human with, as far as the rules go, a soul. You can create life.
But wait, there's more! Nothing there says you have to turn the target into a known creature on an existing creature. The narcissist bard wants to create a whole race of people who look like him? True Polymorph. A player wants to play a weird ass homebrew race and you have no idea how it would fit into the setting? True Polymorph. Wizard needs a way to quickly populate a kingdom and doesn't want to wait decades for the subjects to grow up? True Polymorph. Warlock must provide his patron 100 souls in order to free his own? True Polymorph. The sorcerer wants to do something cool? Fuck that guy, sorcerers don't get any of the fun high level spells; True Poly is available to literally every arcane caster but the sorcerer.
Note: what good is Twinned Spell if all the high level twinnable spells have been specifically made unavailable to sorcerers?
Do keep in mind however that this brings a whole new discussion on human rights. Does a table have rights? Does it have rights after being turned into a living thing? If it had an owner, is it now a slave? Your country will need so many new laws, just to deal with this one spell.
People often say that high level wizards are deities for all intents and purposes. This is the utmost proof of that. Clerics don't get to create life out of thin air, wizards do. The cleric worships a deity, the wizard is the deity.

Conclusion.
Intelligent creatures not only can game the system, but it is entirely in character for them to do so. I'll even argue that if humanoids don't use magic to improve their lives when it's available, you're pushing the suspension of disbelief.
With this post i hope to have helped you make more complex and realistic societies, as well as provide a few interesting and unusual plot hooks
Lastly, as much as i hate comment begging i must admit i am eager to see what spells other players think can completely change the world. Because at the end of the day we all know that extra d6 damage is not what causes empires to rise and fall, its the utility spells that make the best stories.

Edit: Added spell level to all spells, and would like to thank u/kaul_field for helping with finishing touches and being overall a great mod.

Best Salesman Ever

My 1 Year Anniversary of Full Time Day Trading. 3 Years In The Business. What I Wish I Could Tell Myself Years Ago.

This industry has a lack of transparency so I'm more than happy to say I will provide lots of that throughout this post with screenshots. There are LOTS of imgur links to back what I say so it's not just words on a post expecting you to just believe what I'm typing.
This post I suppose is "Part 2" my post back in April, "After 2 years of Daytrading. 7 months full time. Here's my advice". I'm doing this to update everyone who came/comes across this in the future. Yes, it is possible. No, it won't be easy. You will pay homage to the rite of passage into this career. I'll also provide some examples of styles of trading so for the newer aspiring traders, there will be some things I rarely see discussed on forums. So here's to 1 year of Full Time Day Trading

TL;DR - You'll become desensitized to trading. Stubborn to other strategies (There are biggebaddemore lucrative strategies. Don't chase them. Why fix what's not broken? I know what works for me and I'm content with it. No strategy is better than another. It's a personal choice. ). Losing individual trades won't faze you, they're inevitable. Profiting certainly feels better. After a while, you won't be as enthralled to trade every morning, it'll become just another part of your day). Trading is just managing your money through a statistic and the medium to execute it is trading on your platform. Think: "If. Then. Because". Your trading plan should be that black and white. Ask "Why" for everything you do and use. If you can't answer it with documented results, drop it.

~~I get a bunch of messages all the time from people asking -~~ . Out of those who follow me and chat me seeking further tips through my previous posts. I'll be answering the FAQ's and addressing things I see frequently in this sub as far as trading axioms
Disclaimer: I won't sugarcoat anything. I'll share my experiences and add pieces of advice I'd give to those who are currently experiencing the same thing becoming a full time day trader and what day to day life is like, the occasional distress, (DRAWDOWNS). Some of you follow my Twitter for the past few months where I post my daily watchlists with a snippet that reveals my DayTradingBuyingPower. I do this not to brag but to demonstrate that the account does yield growth, I pay myself, and there are days where the balance does not move because there was no edge. I also do this since nobody else shows their account performance. (Yes. You, Mr. YouTube gurus and wannabe gurus).
We do this for income, the numbers on our accounts are real. Treat it as such. Get your initial capital out of your account THEN try to "Scale your account" with your profits AKA The Market's Money.

I'll go over:
•FAQ's that I get in my inbox (I'm still welcome to further questions if I don't answer here)
•Decision Fatigue (You will experience this)
•The previous year (2019-2020) of ups and downs
•How to use my watchlists that I post on Twitter in the morning to your advantage
•The pivotal moment that changed my trading career (NFLX 10-17-19)
•The road to becoming a full time trader. (It won't be fun unless you're handed the money)
•You'll have a better grasp of my strategy (Between ProTip 4 and 5. ProTip 8.)

There are 10 "ProTips" throughout the post that I wish I could tell myself years back and I'll periodically throw them in here as the post goes on. I make posts long in order to segregate those serious about this business and those who will just become another statistic in the failure rate of this business.

At the end of this post, I'll go over the frequent questions I receive such as: (Answers to FAQ at bottom of post.)

"How do you prepare for a trading day?"
"What would you go back to tell yourself?"
"Books?" (The most abused question, but I get it. I could start a public library with just trading books I bought over the years)
"What is your background?"
"What is a normal day for you?"
"How did you discover your strategy?"
"What did you do/How did you get started?"
"What is your % return?" (Not a fun question since a trading account is not an index or investment account. Intraday traders do not measure performance in %. Most are measured in "R".)
"Is enough to start trading?"
"Why do you need so many monitors"? (This one is rarely asked but I do see it discussed on platforms and people trading on mobile phones love giving flack to anybody who trades on multiple monitors. Hint: Everyone's different. Whatever works for the individual. There are no rules in trading. The only rule is that it works.)

My story:

Background:
I heard about daytrading during the 2008 crash while in high school. We all want to make more while working less. I entertained day trading from time to time but always realized I never had enough money. Horrible mindset because I could have still researched WHILE saving money to put into my trading business.
2015 - I opened my first trading account with Scottrade while in the Marines. Apparently if you have a net worth of over $1,000,000 you can get out early (Biggest rumor ever).
I frivolously bought crap penny stocks. In short - I was a hair away from gambling. What made it NOT gambling was the fact that at least I owned something tangible (Securities of a company) and anything can happen. Buy low sell high was my strategy. Didn't work obviously. No idea what I was doing. I'd buy and hold hoping to wake up to the stock price being way higher and it never happened.

•ProTip #1 : If you hold a trade overnight... It is not daytrading. Stop turning into an investor because you can't admit a minor defeat.

2017 - I started taking this business seriously while working in the oilfield as a Logistics Planner (If you're wondering what company since I am asked this from time to time, Google: "World's largest oilfield services company").
No kids, girlfriend/wife or financial obligations. I worked 10AM - 7PM CST and would trade the open from home for roughly 1 hour. Later I was offered to be a Data Analyst... Only downside was... I couldn't trade since I had to be at work now at 8AM CST during the market open. In the moment of signing the offer letter, I was bummed thinking, "No more trading,"
That wasn't the case though. You can still build your trading business with a 9-5 and while never making one trade. The data is there.

•ProTip #2 : We all see the same data. It's there forever. Many strategies show their edge both live and in hindsight the same. (Especially if you trade patterns). You CAN build your business as a trader without even taking a trade. You CAN build your strategy while working a 9-5. Just because you're not trading, does not mean you can't build your business through research. You won't know how you'll react to the losses but at least you can diagnose the raw data with a large enough sample size for assurance and confidence.

If you have a 9-5 and want to go fulltime into this business. Stay for a bit, save, live so far beneath your means that it is almost miserable, (depending on your expenses, area you live, family etc) and get a few hundred sample sizes of your strategy! And for your PTO/days off... trade the open. I sacrificed my vacation days to trade.
After 2 years in corporate America, eating cheap food, never going out, saving relentlessly, I made the decision to just do it and resigned. I went straight into the ring of fire known as trading. That was on: September 23rd, 2019
"" ^{(Sound familiar?})

When you hear these types of comments.. your response should be: "Nobody put the time I put into this. The 90%+ who fail, don't have it all written out, computerized backtests, manual backtests, statistics, SOP manuals, JUST like the job I have which is a business, I'm just another cog in their wheel. I'll just be wearing all the hats in my trading business. Instead of Oil&Gas, it's just for trading". One thing I see here a lot is people saying to trade X amount of months/years or make X.

•ProTip #3 - Think in man hours, not calendar. Example:
Trader A puts in 1 hour of study/work/research everyday for 1 year. (365 Hours)
Trader B puts in 12 hours of work every day for 4 months. (~1,450 Hours)
Trader A lives in a major city while Trader B lives in the middle of nowhere. (Think cost of living)
2 totally different living expenses and 2 different calibers of dedication. I'd put my money on Trader B because he put in more man hours. (~1,000 more hours on the clock to be more exact).

ProTip #4 - Have a cushion in your account AND your personal bank account. Having a strategy is great but you won't know entirely if you can fulfill and execute your plan until you experience the ups and downs both short and long term. A strategy is constant over long periods of time... there will be days, weeks, and perhaps a month here and there where you aren't making much money. We hear all the time, "Trade like a casino". Casinos don't make money day after day but the odds are in there favor over the long haul.

Month 1 of full time trading was great:
Immediately after going full time, the first month (September 2019 to October 2019), I did super well. Business as usual. No stress. Everything going as planned. No turbulence. At least not like I had ever experienced...

The 2 prerequisites I had before resigning was:

Show consistency in returns. Consistent Sharpe Ratio.
Make a 4 figure trade (I achieved this while short 100 shares on ROKU September 20th, 2019 and even made a victory post if you scroll down my profile's posts.)

First life-changing trading lesson learned as a full time trader:
That money printing spree ended on NFLX October 17th, 2019. Less than 1 month of being a full time trader. Deviating and going against my plan I actually made $500 in a matter of 4 minutes. If you follow my watchlists on Twitter, I always trade with the direction of the gap. If I notate, "Long Watches" that means I will only trade it IF (and only IF) I see a long biased pattern. Likewise I will only be looking to short my "Short Watches". Plenty of times I'll call out a ticker and it immediately goes the other way. No harm no foul because there was no long biased pattern to confirm my thesis.
On 10-17-2019, I went against my plan and it worked.. NFLX gapped up to resistance and I went short when it tanked off of a short pattern.(This is known as fading). The market gave me a free lunch and then some. So now I'm walking on air in my mind:
"I'm an absolute unit"
"I'll do it again and clear another $500 to make it a 4 figure day before 9:30AM Central"
"Should have quit my job way earlier being this good."
Within 30 minutes of the open. I gave all $500 back. Yes I wanted to trade it back. Never have I had the desire to smash anything but I do understand those who do! Yes I stood there and felt like each passing second was wasted opportunity. The next 24 hours were long!

ProTip #5: It's circumstances like that that help you in the long run. FunFact: I never once deviated from my plan since. Not ever again.

"I could have paid for my groceries and electric for the month after 4 minutes of trading if I just took the free pass the market gave me" I felt dumb but in hindsight, I'm glad at what happened. It was this exact instance that married me to my strategy/business plan. The next day and the 7 trading days following. I didn't make 1 profiting trade. My longest ever drawdown - 11 straight trades. While researching I found out this was Decision Fatigue (I'll go over this shortly below)

Put yourself in that situation...
You have bills and your income is strictly trading. I don't care how much a robot you think you are or how strongly you believe in probabilities, when you were in an office less than a month ago making almost 6 figures sitting in an air conditioned office knowing direct deposit is on its way every other Friday no matter how well or poorly you performed at work.. Now you're in the hot seat. Its a bottomless feeling. Now all of your friends and families words are ringing in your head.
But just like a boxing match.. you gotta take a hit to get a hit. Win some, lose some, shake hands and get back to normal life. Water under the bridge.
Mind you:
•No guaranteed direct deposit every 2 weeks.
•No more medical/dental insurance.
•401K retirement is no longer being matched.

11 trades is nothing. You only require ~5.5 trades at 2:1RRR to make it back OR 3.5 trades at 3:1RRR. It's nothing especially in your research because you can easily just scroll a little more and see, "Oh that's just a drawdown. No big deal". How will you react in real time? Will you buckle or choke? But the thing is, I was skipping trades out of fear and JUST so happened to be picking all of the unsuccessful ones. (Decision Fatigue)
Think about those 2 weeks of being in a drawdown. Half of the month. You're not just stagnant, your account is bleeding slowly but surely. Next time you're looking at your spreadsheet/backtest/predictive model/research.. try to put yourself in those days of drawdown. It's not just 11 boxes of red with "-1R" or "Loss" in them. The screenshot above on Imgur is just a recent example.
Think about your daily routine, going to the gym, hanging with friends, grocery shopping, cooking, going to bed, waking up, doing a routine, then losing again.. and again.. and again. Try to think of life during those 300+ hours (Weekends too) of, "I haven't made money. I've lost money. And I still have bills. After paying them, I'll be closer to my set Risk of Ruin".
Here's a lesson you won't learn before going fulltime but I'll do my best to emphasize it here:
Pick a strategy. And stick with it. It can literally be anything. Don't spread yourself thin watching 20+ tickers and be a jack of all patterns/tickers. Be a master of 1 pattern and master of 1 circumstance. There's this real thing called "Decision Fatigue" which explains exactly why what happened.. happened. The article explains that the 2 outcomes of this mental strain known as "Decision Fatigue" is:

Risky Decision-Making
Decision Avoidance

Sound familiar? Does it kind of make sense now? As a new trader you have YouTube, Facebook, StockTwits, Twitter, "gurus", books recommended on Amazon, all throwing their ideas/strategies around, the market has opportunities littered all over.. Decision Fatigue is inevitable for the unprepared. Decision Fatigue happens in every profession. If you mess up at your 9-5, its just a blunder, your paycheck will remain the same. Just a slap on the wrist and move on. With trading, you make a mistake.. it's less food on your table, lights don't stay on, and/or water isn't running. That pressure adds up. No wonder so many fail...
The signs of Decision Fatigue:
•Procrastination.
•Impulsivity.
•Avoidance.
•Indecision.
When you find what clicks with you AND its either statistically or performance proven, have the courage to risk a healthy sum of your capital into it. There are strategies/patterns/styles of trading littered all over the internet:
Very broad example:
"IF circumstance happens THEN "Execution". Stoploss is XYZ. Target is XYZ. BECAUSE over a series of Y trades, I will make $X,XXX.xx".

ProTip #6 : Strategies are all over the internet. It's your account/money, backtest it. People share their strategies here all the time and although I don't agree with them because I know what works for me, it's something to chew off of for you newer traders. YouTube is a harbor with people who give just enough info to figure their style out. You will lose trades. Sit for some screen-time and pay homage to the edge that you discover. All in due time.

Insert key metrics and find correlations. This is how you create checks and balances to create/formulate a black and white trading plan. When I first started doing this, my spreadsheet(s) had so many columns it was annoying and would kill my desire to continue working. You'll find things that are imperative and some that are unimportant. For a lack of more colorful terms: "Throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks" Trim the fat. Rinse and repeat.

Here's some things I used to remind myself of and perhaps it'll ring some bells for you:

•Surrender your capital to your edge. If you truly accept the risk and trust your proven edge, losses don't feel like anything nor do profits. Although we're not here to put on losing trades and yes it does feel nice to profit. I still from time to time will excited when I hit target after a series of multiple profiting trades depending on my mood.
•If you're nervous or your heart starts beating quicker when you hear the sound effect of a trade getting entered/filled. Be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you're truly accepting the risk.
•Things you can't take to the bank:

RRR.
Win-Rate
Number of trades.
"This one great trade that I hit target in less than 30 seconds and I got filled better than expected"

All of these are integral metrics. But you're trading to make money. It's up or down, green or red, profit or loss, TRUE or FALSE. So with that said, find what works flawlessly and is easy to follow. Checks and Balances. Then allocate a good sum of risk into it. I read it here all the time, "Don't risk too much" and that's great and true for new traders. But don't sell yourself short. Push yourself over the edge and admit that you know your stuff. Think of Trader A and Trader B. If you've put the time in.. don't sell yourself short. You've built enough courage to learn a business so many fail at. This business has such a negative connotation. But remember that not everybody can handle meritocracies and that's exactly what the market is. Don't try to be the best, just work harder than everyone else and the output of your input will be relative.

ProTip #7: YouTube trading ads from gurus... they're subconsciously making you think you're a novice trader. It's in their marketing. They study marketing psychology. The EASIEST things to sell:

Health
Wealth
Happiness

People that are desperate for those things are the most vulnerable and these ~~"Traders"~~ marketers are fantastic at portraying all 3 of those things at once.

•ProTip #8 (Broken record alert) : Write a business plan. Your strategy shouldn't take longer than 4 sentences to explain to another trader. When you have a plan that's proven through a statistic and WAIT for it to happen, you feel 100X better taking the trade. You don't even care too much when it results in a loss. Because that was your plan, you accept it much better, and you know it was just an expense for a winning trade.

Want my strategy? "I scan for stocks with a market cap of over 250M, 10k shares premarket, gapping to support or resistance, priced over $10, and I look for a pattern biased to the direction of the overnight gap. It isn't rocket science. Check my Twitter, look at the dates I posted, and you'll notice the gist. Yes this is an edge but not the entire edge. How fast can you sift through 15 time frames? How long does it take you to fill out your order ticket? Your Fibonacci time extensions with 5 EMA's and Bollinger Bands aren't helping you. They're lagging. If they work for you, great. In my experience, they hindered my visibility.

Pro Tip #9: Yes statistics are highly applicable to trading. Patterns do work. All patterns do is tell you WHEN to enteexit, and how many shares. Humans will never think differently of money. Be the frontrunner of the market's emotions. Nobody remembers the indecisive leader. Risk taking is a commonality amongst leaders. Trading requires courage and it's O.K. to show a bit of confidence as long as you also have the humility to admit when you're in a bad trade. (Notice how I didn't put, "wrong". You're only "wrong" when you deviate from a proven strategy.)

ProTip #10: Risk management is 24/7. I've never heard anyone mention this but think about it a little bit. Having financial obligations can become stressful regardless of how you earn your income but its far more stressful while running a business. Not just any business, but a business where you can go to work on your A-game, do every single last thing right, trade without emotion etc... and still walk away with less money than what you came to work with. Meanwhile somebody who JUST started trading made a 4 figure profit not knowing what the heck the difference between ETB, HTB, or NTB. Think of it like this, a JV high school baseball player can hit a homerun off of an MLB pitcher once.. but how will he fare at the end of the season? Traders don't predict stock prices, traders predict the outcome over hundreds of trades. People chat me asking what TO do rather than what NOT to do. You don't learn labor intensive jobs or how to fly a plane by what to do.. you learn what NOT to do to stay alive.

That's all I have. Once you have a trading plan underway and you're executing it, you don't have much time when your hobbies are cheap but I still do respond to chats/messages. I do get asked from a previous post when I'll build a website and to answer that: I'm learning how to build a site on rainy days. Can't put a definitive date on it. I will say that its coming, if you don't give up on this business in the next year or so, you'll see it. What I plan on putting on there:

RiskReward Calculators
Position size Calculators
EV Calculator
Dictionary with examples

I just don't want some generic WordPress site. I want my website to be stellar and a great resource for aspiring traders. Something I didn't have learning this business. I want it to be something I'd consider a staple in a trader's resources. Perhaps one day it will be referenced on this sub frequently.
FAQ:

"How do you prepare for a trading day?" I get behind the computer about 20 minutes before the bell. Reason being: "If you study long. You'll study wrong". If the chart isn't grabbing my attention and gets me excited, then I flick to the next ticker. I don't even know the companies I trade half the time nor do I care about a news report some journalist wrote. Also there is no magic news outlet that lets you know about "Major events that affect stock prices". If there was, I wouldn't be here because we're all subscribed to the same edge nor would I be trading my style.
"What would you go back to tell yourself?" Get more data. Save a little more, your hairline and sleep schedule will thank you. Take only perfect trades and don't feel forced to trade. There will be days you don't touch an order ticket. And days where you are busy and have tunnel vision. Next thing you know its time to shut it down for the day.
"Books?" - I try to humble myself when answering this but off the cuff, they're all mediocre. Andrew Aziz's was ok, definitely get it, it's only a few bucks on Kindle. Just don't expect it to give you strategies BUT it will give you ideas. If you're brand new, it is good as it will teach you the common vernacular of a day trader. Mark Douglas was interesting but his YouTube seminar recordings are much better. No book, Facebook group, YouTube channel is going to be the end all be all perfect strategy. Expect losses. Don't be a one hitter quitter after suffering a few tiny losses/paper cuts. Stick to it. Most books will help you familiarize yourself with the common vocabulary amongst traders and will hint ideas. It's your job to formulate the strategy and template for research.
"What is your background?" I was a logistics planner for a major oilfield services company. Later I then became a data/buyer analyst so yes, data analytics/research was a 2nd language for me entering trading. I did have that upper hand and did shave off months if not years for me.
"What is a normal day for you?" I'm always done trading after 10:30AM Central. I will hold onto a trade until right before the bell if it hasn't hit either target or StopLoss by the time I leave the house but it is absolutely closed in entirety by 2:55PM Central. After I trade, I enjoy the day. No I'm not riding around in my Lambos posting IG/Snapchat (I have neither) stories of my profits with my private jet waiting on a runway trying to sell an $7 eBook or a $100 membership (HINT HINT). I grill/cook, read, workout, ride my motorcycle, attack my other sources of income (small businesses I'm building), hit the driving range, shoot guns, etc. I live in Texas. Life is cheap and fun here.
"How did you discover your strategy?" I bought TradeIdeas premium, went through all of their computerized backtesting patterns, tested them. Then did what I mentioned earlier... Tried to find correlations in metrics. It distilled the trades to a strict criteria and here I am. I post on average 4-5 tickers on my watchlist. 7 max. I do not like spreading my attention thin across multiple tickers. I do not recommend buying TradeIdeas, it does have lots of bugs.
"What did you do/How did you get started?" Was a data analyst, was good at research and applied it to trading. My incentive was, "I could have made more money trading rather than sitting in 2+ hours of roundtrip traffic and 9 hours in an office. The data is there. Everybody sees the same charts all over the world. There are ways to make this possible"
"What is your % return?" (Not a fun question since a trading account is not an index or investment account. Intraday traders do not measure performance in %) I trade to make money AND pay myself, so my equity curve will look like a small loss or small gain after I pay myself. % return? I measure my account's performance in Sharpe Ratio and Risk Units. My Sharpe Ratio is ~1.85. While I yield roughly .8 - 1 R per trading day. Some weeks I make 10R. Some weeks I lose 2R. Yeah one week I might make $2,500. But the next week I might lose $300. The following week my strategy will yield $0 and the last week I might make $1,000. Some weeks suck. Some weeks are great. But overall. Just shy of 1R per trading day. Some days I'm super busy taking trade after trade. Some days I'll shut it down after 5 minutes without even filling out an order ticket. Some days I won't even see the open because there is no edge for me.. Keywords... "For me".
"Is enough to start trading?" Depends on where you live. Are you restricted to PDT? If not then how much are you obligated to expenses? I live in Texas. Things are cheap here. If you live in NYC or The Bay Area your expenses will be astronomical compared to mine. A $30,000 account is totally doable for a single Texan with low monthly expenses. Now if you're in California or New York? I'm sure you'll fall below 25k if you have 1 bad month. Also depends on if you have other sources of income or a full/part time job. I encourage every trader and aspiring trader to have multiple sources of income, don't rely solely on trading. Not just for the sake of mitigating pressure but also for sanity. If you have a family to provide for, I don't know what that's like, you never know when Little Johnny is going to randomly pick up Trombone lessons for a school program/play while little Suzie needs transmission work in her car because a simple solenoid went out. $1,700 later.
"Why do you need so many monitors?" I use 3 for trading. The 4th is for music. The other 2 are useless while trading. That's for trading though. When I made the decision to go full time, I knew I was about to go off the chain with research. And sifting between spreadsheets, a platform to see multiple timeframes for a pattern to backtest. My attention span is short, I'll lose my train of thought before I open the other tab to input data. But the main reason was for research. It's such a time saver and is a headache repellant when doing research while everything is laid out in front of you. Now that I have a system. I'll most likely be treating myself to 2 ultrawides for Christmas.

As always, thank you to everybody who takes time out to message me and letting me know some people read these and show appreciation. I would say, "Good luck" but there is no luck in trading. Just statistics. Remember that!
In conclusion: Yes. Full time trading is possible, depending where you live/monthly expenses and obligations. You're more likely to become a profitable trader than a professional athlete. There is a level of uncertainty each day, perhaps each week, doubtful each month, and definitely not each year. If I ever want a raise, I just consult my business plan and financials, then decide if I can handle it mentally. If you have medical issues, get a part time job for the benefits. If you're healthy, just be careful.

All the best!
-CJT2013

When buying a used car and trading in your old car, what are the best recommendations as a customer to get the best deal at a car dealership? Is it ok to just walk away?

[Tales From the Terran Republic] What's Going on in the Federation Pt3 Karashel and the Lazy River

Karashel's fun night continues!
I ran up against the character limit and had to cut it short. Conclusion will be up shortly!
The rest of this series can be found here
***
Karashel cursed in Terran, the best language for such things.
The AI was useless. Of course it was.
It was Balean!
“R-reffffinnnnne queirey!” she snapped.
“I’m sorry, I did not understand your request,” the AI responded.
“Querrrie!” Karashel yelled “Sthap d fokun querrrie!”
“I was unable to understand you. Please-”
“Aghghhh fuckin fckuk!” she yelled as she slammed the cord back into her aching neural port.
“/// sssst-sp #@3kdd querty///”
“///Unrecognizable command. Please rephrase///”
Karashel started to laugh as she slumped against her desk. No wonder the AI couldn’t understand.
Her brain was fried. It was over.
Dripping more slime than ever she started to laugh and sob.
“Oh Creators,” she silently prayed, turning her eyestalks skyward. “I know I’m an atheist and I haven’t prayed in years but please… please help me! I don’t… I don’t know what to do and I’m running out of time.”
Silence.
Karashel started to get unreasonably angry.
“Fuckin’ pieet fo spit!” she yelled at the ceiling. “Weee rr stuk in tha shhiit n itz UR FOLT! Wee didn’t axe fur dis! Wee didn dezzerve dis! FUCK YOO!”
She started to twitch as the frustration and rage built.
“Rarrggghhhh!” she bubbled as she struck her desktop, knocking it off of the desk.
It hit the ground with a “crunch” and everything went dead.
She shrieked and pulled the cord from her neural socket as she was punished yet again.
She slumped onto the slimy floor of her apartment as it started to ripple and shift around her.
“Fiiine,” she bubbled, “’f U won’t help...”
She turned her eyestalks downward.
Devourer of Souls hear my plea, she prayed with every fiber of her fading consciousness.
“Took you long enough,” a pleasant voice replied.
“Wha?” she bubbled as she wearily raised an eyestalk and started in shock.
Lounging nearby was something from a nightmare, a horrific combination of Baleel and parasite with oily black skin and a gaping round maw ringed with hook like teeth.
She scooted back in terror.
“So, what do you want?” the horror asked.
“What… what is happening?” she gasped. (What she actually gasped was anyone’s guess but that’s what she meant to say.)
“Either your abused mind has finally snapped all the way,” the Devourer of Souls replied scratching its back with a long piercing barbed tongue, “or you have actually summoned the Balean Devil. Considering all of the other freaky bullshit going on in the galaxy at the moment it’s really anyone’s guess.”
“Other?…”
“Don’t worry about it… yet,” the fiend replied warping it’s gaping maw into a “smile” of sorts. “Either way, we have a little time to kill before you are either saved or you drown in your own slime so…”
It “smiled” further (not a terribly appetizing sight regardless of your species).
“Why did you ‘summon’ me?”
Karashel, consumed by confusion and terror, backed against the wall, knocking over a small table.
“Please tell me you aren’t trying to cast a love spell again,” The Devourer said with a bubbly snort. “Oh and you are welcome, by the way. If I had granted you that wish you’d be answering phones in his father’s vehicle dealership right now, a dealership that will be given to his younger sister by the way.”
Despite her confusion and declining mental state, Karashel twitched in embarrassment. Adolescence had been a particularly awkward time for her.
The room heaved slightly.
“I didn’t do that,” The Devourer said in a matter of fact tone. “That’s all you so if you have anything to ask you’d better hurry.”
“I… what?” Karashel finally managed to stammer.
“Ugh,” The Devourer said flicking the stubby eyestalks that ringed its maw in annoyance. “Fine. We do this the hard way.”
It shot it’s long slimy barbed tongue out like a lance skewering Karashel’s anterior end.
Karashel screamed and rolled backward, her tendrils passing through the phantasmal tongue.
“Oh by the Marsh Guardians,” it muttered as it withdrew it’s tongue. “You can’t be serious. You want to take on this Federation thing?”
“Y-yes.”
“Are you really that stupid?” the demon snickered, “Why is a Baleel-”
“Yes I know I’m just a pathetic Baleel,” Karashel snapped finally getting ahold of herself, “but I have to do something! The Federation is-”
She was cut off by a hearty laugh.
“Don’t project your insecurities on me,” the Devourer of Souls bubbled, dripping caustic slime onto the floor, “I wasn’t saying that you were ‘just a pathetic Baleel’. I was asking why in the black and fetid Bog a Baleel who wanted to bring down anyone or anything would waste its time studying these pathetic humans and their tepid propaganda.”
“What do you mean?”
The monster looked at her carefully.
“You honestly don’t have a clue, do you?” it asked.
“About what?” Karashel asked as the room lurched.
She didn’t feel so good.
“I don’t have time for this,” the Devourer said, “or more precisely you don’t. In just a few minutes your funny looking friend is going to burst through that door and ‘rescue’ you.”
Caw!!! she thought in alarm.
“Yes, him,” the Devourer of Souls replied. “Whatever you did when you were playing with that box over there,” it said as it gestured towards her damaged desktop. “showed up on his box and he is already… flying?… this way in yet another box. What is it with you people and boxes these days?”
Oh no! He knows everything!
“That he does, but don’t worry, he thinks it’s ‘cute’,” the demon sneered, “As if a stupid little Baleel could ever be a real threat.”
Black anger started to overwhelm Karashel’s discomfort. Of course he wouldn’t become her enemy. That would be giving her far too much credit. The almighty Caw would never consider her a real threat…
because she wasn’t!
She never would be…
Unless…
She glared at the demon in her apartment.
“You know,” she frothed in her rage. “You know something, don’t you?”
“Sure do,” it smiled.
“Tell me!”
“No.”
“TELL ME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!”
The Devourer of Souls recoiled slightly and smiled.
“Too late,” he replied. “Your friend is already here. He and the ambassador will be here shortly and that will be the end of it… and your career.”
She started in alarm.
“While these Xx are inclined to laugh all of this off, the ambassador certainly is not,” the demon sneered. “It’s over for you.”
Karashel’s eyestalks swiveled over towards the window.
“Nice thought,” the demon replied, “but your friend has something with him, yet another box, that will allow him to see you even in the darkness of night or more precisely your-”
The demon laughed.
“Now that might actually work,” it said in an amused tone.
***
“What has Councilor Karashel done?” the ambassador asked in alarm as it struggled to keep up with Caw.
“Oh nothing of note,” Caw replied diplomatically, “I just have reason to suspect that she is dangerously exhausted and in need of immediate medical intervention.”
“While exhaustion can technically be a problem,” the ambassador, still reeling from the shock of an actual Xx visiting the embassy, “it is rarely a true medical-”
It trailed off into silence as they reached Karashel’s door.
Slime was oozing out from underneath.
“…oh,” the ambassador said quietly.
He pressed the doorbell.
“Councilor Karashel,” he said in a loud and clear voice. “It’s Ambassador Marsamen. Are you alright?”
Silence.
“Kara!” Caw screeched as he pounded on the door. “Kara, open up!”
Nothing.
“Councilor Karashel,” the ambassador said as he pressed the doorbell again, “We are about to enter!”
He pulled out a keycard and inserted it into a card reader mounted underneath the doorbell.
“Oh dear,” Caw said quietly as the door opened.
The apartment was in disarray, furniture knocked over, her desktop wrecked, puddles of slime everywhere…
And no Karashel.
“This isn’t good,” the ambassador said after a few moments of silence.
“Glad you clarified that for me,” Caw growled as they surveyed the scene. His crest twitched as he spotted an open bottle of pills.
He started to move to conceal them but before he could reach them the ambassador saw them as well and undulated over towards the bottle.
He shook out a couple onto the desktop and groaned.
“Five-threes”, he muttered.
“What are those?” Caw asked as he pulled out a scanner.
“Oh, nothing,” the ambassador said smoothly, “Just some dietary supplements. Thank you for your concern, Councilor, but this is now an intern-”
“Ambassador,” Caw said smoothly, “While I have gotten to know Balean body language pretty well I don’t need that to know you are lying.”
“Thank you for your concern, Councilor,” the ambassador said stiffly, “but this is an internal matter and we will handle things from here.”
“When I said that Karashel had done nothing of note,” Caw smiled revealing his many razor sharp teeth, “It could very easily become noteworthy, something that you definitely do NOT want. Now, tell me what those pills are.”
The ambassador sighed.
“Five-threes are a… they are a...”
“Drug?” Caw asked in a matter of fact tone.
“Yes,” the ambassador said with some discomfort. “Void-born humans...” he said with some venom. “N-not that I approve of what has happened to them! I don’t! Even they don’t-”
“It’s quite possible to object to their treatment and absolutely loathe the fuckers,” Caw said with a smile.
The ambassador sighed in relief and bobbed his eyestalks in agreement.
“Exactly,” he said. “Five-threes are a human creation. They consists of fifty ‘milligrams’, or roughly one hundred and twenty Federation Mass Units of caffeine and three of their ‘milligrams’ of nicotine. From what I understand these would have a mild stimulant effect in humans but for a Baleel both of those substances are much more powerful and much more dangerous, on par with any street drug. The humans can make them legally for their own consumption but we have it on good authority that these five-threes are produced almost entirely for illegal export… to us! They do make caffeine supplements but the ones they actually use normally contain enough caffeine to kill a Baleel and are never paired with nicotine!”
“Sounds like something they would do,” Caw agreed as he fiddled with his tablet, “Here they are,” he said as he looked at the crystalline surface, “A cup of coffee and a cigarette anywhere, anywhen.”
The ambassador muttered a word in Balean, a word that Caw had come to know quite well.
Caw chuckled as he pulled up some trade data.
“I see what you mean, Ambassador,” he said, “Kind of a flop on the domestic market.”
“And they make them by the millions!” the ambassador bubbled angrily, “Maybe one silver lining to all of this will be the end of these things!”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” Caw said as he searched the apartment. “They are going to have to pay for all of those nuclear weapons somehow… In a display of my skills in dealing with the obvious, Karashel isn’t here.”
They both looked at an open and slime covered window.
“No!” Caw screeched in terror and sprinted over, slipping in the ooze and landing in a slimy pile of discarded clothing. He quickly kicked himself free from the pile and pulled himself up.
Fearing the worst he looked down.
“It’s only the fourth floor,” the ambassador said as he undulated up to peer over Caw’s shoulder.
“Only the fourth floor?!?”
“We don’t have any bones to break and our bodies can absorb a great deal of kinetic energy,” the ambassador replied. “We can fall from quite a distance as long as we don’t land on anything sharp.”
“So she jumped?”
“Quite possibly,” the ambassador replied uncomfortably. This was definitely not something he wanted anyone, especially the Xx, involved in.
Caw pulled a scarf-like strip of cloth off of his slime coated feathers and examined it.
“Um,” the ambassador said in an embarrassed tone, “that’s her undergarmet.”
“Eeek!” Caw squawked as he quickly released Karashel’s “panties”. The slime coated strip of fabric clung to his hand and he started flailing his arm back and forth frantically.
The strip of cloth finally flew from his hand and hit the wall, where it stuck with an audible “splat”.
“So we have a naked Baleel, tweaked out of her mind, rampaging through the capital?” Caw said as they both stared at Karashel’s panties slowly sliding down the pastel colored wall.
The ambassador winced and withdrew his eyestalks.
This was a nightmare, and in front of the Xx councilor no less!
***
Karashel grinned as she “ran” behind a retaining wall. She hadn’t “high-jumped” since she was a teen!
She had forgotten how much fun it was.
“Not too shabby,” the Devourer said as it floated along behind her.
Get down! she thought at him.
“Relax,” he chuckled, “Nobody else can see me. Your internal ‘demons’ are quite invisible, at least for now.”
What?
“Don’t worry about it,” the Devourer smiled.
Whatever, Karashel thought. Now spill.
“You aren’t in the clear yet,” he chuckled as he pointed with his tongue.
She could feel faint vibrations in the earth through her belly.
Running?
“You don’t know?” the Devourer of Souls asked, “How much have you lost?”
The vibrations increased slightly and soon she could see a light as something sprinted around the corner of the building.
“It’s your friend,” the Devourer said. “You need to lose him if we are going to be able to have a chat.”
How? she thought helplessly as she watched him reach the spot under her window. He was impossibly fast!
“Quite the puzzle,” the Devourer responded. “Might want to hurry up. That guy is a lot faster than we were. Oh look!” he said brightly. “He’s pulling out a box-thingy.”
A scanner! Karashel thought in alarm.
“Is that like a foot-tongue? Can he track you?”
It’s about a million times better than my foot!
“Well, you’re breakfast, then,” the Devourer replied, “Too bad, I was looking forward to that chat.”
Karashel’s mind raced faster and faster.
“That won’t work,” the Devourer said.
What won’t?
“You can’t think faster than he or that box thing,” he said. “You have to think slower.”
What?
“Try it.”
Karashel, with great effort, closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and exhaled.
“Your fast-brain, never particularly fantastic, is quite gone,” the Devourer said in an avuncular tone, “Your slow-brain, however, is just fine. Use it.”
My slow-brain?
“Just stop thinking and think.”
What the fuck?
“Shh! No words. Just think.”
Karashel tried to do just that but it was nearly impossible. She kept thinking about how angry Caw would be with her and how much trouble she was likely in and how he had a scanner and how there was NO WAY he wouldn’t be able to simply follow the trail she was undoubtedly still leaving. She wasn’t “sliming” that much anymore but she was still coated with the stuff and now the ambassador would be emailing home about all of this if he wasn’t already and how disappointed her parents, no, her whole home town would be when she “retires” in disgrace over all of this and.
“Not very good at this, are you.”
Fuck off!
“Don’t worry,” the Devourer of Souls snickered. “Once they catch you I’ll do just that. Now try again. Stop thinking and think!”
Stop thinking and think, Karashel grumbled to herself. He sounds like one of those crazy old marsh hermits.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She could feel Caw stomping around and now there was a very faint “rustle” as something was sliding through the grass, no multiple somethings.
“Councilor,” Ambassador Marsamen said in a very uncomfortable manner, “I appreciate your concern but this really is-”
“Do you have a scanner as good as mine?” Caw asked.
“Well, no, but-”
“Do you want to find Kara before someone else does?”
“Of course!” the ambassador exclaimed, “… but her safety and well being are our primary concern, of course.”
“Of course,” Caw replied in that condescending tone he used when he really wasn’t buying it. “Then you definitely want me involved. Kara is a close personal friend of mine and her safety, and reputation, are a concern of mine as well.”
“Still, I must insist...”
Karashel smirked from her hidden vantage point. The ambassador was a good guy, deep down, but he is probably sliming himself thinking of the potential fallout.
She couldn’t really fault him for that.
Thinking was beginning to hurt. She just wanted to retract her eyes and…
Her thoughts faded out.
Nothingness.
She wasn’t unconscious, though she should be. She was just…
Still.
She could feel everything. Each blade of grass beneath her felt like a little tendril tickling her foot. The wind felt like more tendrils stroking her slime coated skin. She could feel the vibrations of countless small creatures, perhaps even insects, as they burrowed or skittered along.
She took a moment to appreciate just how wonderful this was. No worry, no fear, no anger, just her, the earth beneath her foot, the wind on her skin, the almost silent sounds of the river as it flowed slowly along.
The river! she thought as her brain snapped back online. It moved considerably faster than she did and without clothes she was just a bag of water and protein, which would swell considerably when submerged further spreading out her signature!
That might just work!
Karashel “darted” out from her hiding place and melted into the shadows as her “fast brain”, fatigued well past the breaking point, shut down again.
***
“Don’t worry,” Caw said cheerfully to the fretting ambassador as they walked through the embassy grounds with his scanner held out in front of him, “as I said Kara is a friend of mine and I will definitely keep this to myself. As far as our opinion of the baleel goes this only further increases my opinion of you.”
“It does?” the ambassador asked in shocked disbelief.
“Definitely!” Caw replied, nearly chirping. “Kara is one of the only beings that has embraced the acquisition of knowledge to the point of Xvakk’Keen and what a Xvakk’Keen this has turned out to be!”
“This disgraceful incident improves your opinion of her?”
“By tenfold!” Caw replied. “Don’t tell her that, though.”
Caw looked down at his scanner.
“We are getting close!” he said. “Kara! Come on out! It’s ok! You aren’t in trouble!” Caw exclaimed as he scanned the underbrush.
He turned to the ambassador with annoyance. “Why do you keep your grounds in such a state?”
“We… we like our gardens ‘natural’ as possible,” he replied. “The thick vegetation also provides a natural refuge for many native-”
The ambassador and Caw stopped as the trail disappeared into the river.
Caw saw the molecular signature he was following spread out once it hit the water with more and more of the entire river glowing on his display.
“Fuck,” he said quietly.
“This is bad!” the ambassador exclaimed. “Oh creators! This is really really bad!”
***
Karashel’s fast-brain slowly regained consciousness.
She was wet and there was water flowing all around her.
She had made it!
Karashel smiled to herself as she floated just below the surface of the river.
“Not bad,” The Devourer smiled as he watched her mucus raft slowly dissolve. “I knew you had it in you.”
Now talk!
“Ok,” he replied. “What do you want to talk about?”
When you said that you were surprised that a Baleel who wanted to bring down anyone or anything would study the humans what did you mean?
The Devourer of Souls twisted his visage into a wry smile.
“With all of this sense of urgency that you have,” he said, “why did you waste precious hours looking at human mythology?”
Because myths and old verbal legends are often based in truth and I thought that perhaps something could be gleaned from them, and because they are fun.
“Pretty astute observation,” he replied, “If that is the case when it comes to these humans you idolize wouldn’t it be the case with other species as well, species like your own?”
Which myth are you… ohhhhh... Karashel thought as a realization struck her. You are talking about yourself, aren’t you?
The Devourer “smiled”.
“Whatever injustices the Baleel have faced at the hands of this ‘Federation’ pale before the indignity of being made extinct by your own fucking livestock, I’ll tell you that for nothing.”
You actually existed?!?
“Yes, me and the rest of the demonic host, the true masters of your world, did indeed live and breathe once before we were all utterly wiped out by the ‘pathetic’ Baleel,” he chuckled. “It came as quite the shock.”
And we actually were your slaves and food?
“Yup,” The Devourer replied in a matter of fact tone, “and quite tasty little slaves you were… until you utterly destroyed us that is.”
The Devourer smiled.
“The Baleel have been here before and last time they didn’t just ‘effect meaningful change’ they caused the extinction of several species, not just us but any predator that made the mistake of dining upon them.”
The Devourer suddenly turned into a huge finned squid-like cephalopod.
“These guys too.”
He then turned into a large slithering gastropodal “snake” with a rasp-like maw.
“And these.”
He returned to his “normal” form.
“And all of us had some form of at least rudimentary intelligence. They weren’t as smart as us but they weren’t simple animals either and one by one we all fell before you little pathetic morsels.”
He laughed bitterly.
“We didn’t even have a fucking chance. Within one generation our backs were broken and within three we were no more, killed to the last hatchling. What’s worse, you didn’t even do us the honor of eating us. You just… left us to fucking rot!… Assholes!”
He pointed his tongue at her.
“No technology, no claws, no fangs, no… nothing. You were are you are now, just pathetic little lumps of meat… and you killed us! You killed us all!”
He loomed in close.
“And you turn to these… humans to show you the way?” he scoffed. “That’s like… Shit. I was going to make an analogy about strength and savagery but I realized that all of my examples are extinct because of you.”
How did we do it? she asked with her mind.
The Devourer turned into Caw and grinned at her.
I’ll look it up. she thought as she grinned back.
“I will say this,” The Devourer said as he returned to his true form. “It doesn’t matter how strong, how fast, how smart, or how powerful someone is if they don’t see you coming and we didn’t. Our power was absolute, our strength unassailable, our power beyond challenging. We were at the top of the food chain and the world was ours, given to us by our gods and I? I was their king, their first king, and their last. I built an empire, the first empire! And, I watched it fall, pulled down by the same draft animals I used to build it in the first place. I didn’t see you coming and my people died because of it.”
Karashel’s little snot raft drifted against the bank and came to a stop.
Thank you! Karashel thought as she crept up upon the bank, but why? Why are you helping me?
“Helping you?” The Devourer laughed. “Whatever gave you that idea. YOU KILLED MY CHILDREN!!!” he yelled. “YOU KILLED MY WORLD!!!”
Karashel looked at him in confusion.
“And finally I have my revenge! YOU could have made a difference, YOU could have saved your people, and a great many others besides but instead?”
He gestured around.
“Instead you DIE right here, knowing that you now have the scent, that the prey you seek is so close,” he laughed wickedly. “Look at you, exhausted beyond salvage, your electrolytes already perilously close to fatal imbalance BEFORE you decided to soak yourself in fresh water for The Devourer knows how long. You are out of minerals, out of snot, and out of time.”
He laughed as he started to disappear.
“Shed your last mucus as you bitterly curse your own folly. The Baleel are doomed, not just to languish under the tongue of the Federation but truly condemned to DIE wailing in the darkness as we once did and I shall finally have my revenge and be able to rejoin my family in Hell at last!”
Images of a Collective fleet jumping into her home system flashed across her mind.
NO!!!
“Yes,” he laughed. “Goodbye, Councilor.”
The Devourer disappeared.
***
Caw stared at his grav-car’s HUD.
This was no longer funny!
Below, the whole river shone with Balean proteins, the whole fucking thing!
“All units report!” he barked into the air.
“Same as last time, dude,” an annoyed voice responded. “She’s everywhere and nowhere!”
“We are the fucking Xx!” Caw screeched in frustrated rage. “And you mean to tell me that a single Baleel is beyond us?!?”
“Looks that way, don’t it?” another Xx, a female this time, replied in a snarky voice.
Ambassador Marsamen fidgeted nervously (but as silenty as possible) in the passenger’s seat. In the past few hours he had grown a little more used to the Xx’s “irreverent” attitude when dealing with one another but it was still fundamentally unnerving, especially the exchange between Councilor Itsheesh and the Xx Ambassador.
The things they said to each other! He could never talk to Councilor Karashel that way…
Though should she survive the night he might be more than a little tempted.
“May I remind you that this isn’t a fucking field exercise,” Caw screeched. “Kara is in very real danger at this point!”
Caw spun around and looked at one of the Baleel in the back seat.
“How long does she have left?”
“It’s impossible to say for certain,” the Balean doctor replied. “There are so many factors in play here, nutrition, sleep deprivation, the amount of slime she has exuded, the amount of time she spends in the river, her ion-balance prior to entering the river… She definitely requires treatment at this point but as far as her actual condition goes she could just need a few bags of serum and a good night’s sleep or...”
The doctor trailed off.
“Or what?” Caw demanded.
“Or she could already be gone,” the doctor replied quietly.
“Skreeeeee!” Caw cursed. “All units, cover everything again!”
***
“Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!” Karashel muttered as she hauled herself painfully out of the mud and onto dry ground.
Everything hurt. Everything hurt bad.
And it was getting hard to think.
Ok, Karashel, she thought as she took a steadying breath. You fucked up for real this time.
Everything started to fade out.
She scraped the inside of her throat with her radula hoping the pain would help keep her focused.
It didn’t.
It just hurt.
Situation: she thought as she took another deep breath. We are in the middle of fucking nowhere, well outside of the city, exhausted, slime-starved, and our electrolytic balance is beyond fucked. We need serum, now!
She knew that if she didn’t get serum, or something like it, before she passed out for good that was it. Game over. Thanks for playing.
It didn’t sound that bad. She would just go to sleep and the pain would be over.
She started to slump, her muscles starting to fail.
NO!
She continued to haul herself along a narrow path winding up the bank and into the giant mushrooms. No, they weren’t mushrooms, they were “trees”, tall plants with permanent polysaccharide spines or “trunks”.
They were so pretty, the way they gently swayed in the starlight. So soothing…
No, she was getting off track.
Focus. What that asshole called her “fast-brain” wasn’t going to last much longer.
What was serum? It was a mineral-rich proteinous aqueous solution consisting of a wide variety of amino acids and was high in magnesium, calcium, potassium…
She shook herself. She was getting lost in the details.
How did you get it?
You bought it at the store, she thought as she spared the energy for a little derisive snort. Brilliant, Karashel.
In the old days they would brew something called “slake” out of various plants, fungi, and shellfish that served the same purpose. All she needed were a dozen different plants and fungi only present on her homeworld, twenty pounds of shellfish, a large pot, a roaring fire, and a whole day to boil it.
She weakly snorted again.
Yep, she thought weakly as she started to slump again, I’m fucked.
Despite her best efforts, her consciousness started to slip again but this time she didn’t fully black out. Once again she found herself in that magical “zone” she had experienced in the embassy’s garden.
She sighed in contentment as her muscles fully let go. At least there was this final mercy before the end. She could feel so much! She could feel each individual leaf, as if it were made of crystal beneath her. She could feel the gentle breeze as it soothed her drying back. She could feel the gentle groaning of the giant plants around her as their roots shifted ever so slightly in the earth…
She could feel the individual indentations that hardened foot parts, or “hooves” left in the trail beneath her as the forest creat-
Blood! her failing mind screamed. Blood is serum!
Then everything faded completely.
***
The green-stag strolled along the forest path, its muscles rippling underneath its taut skin, pausing to paw at the ground, unearthing the sweet rhizomes of a wide leafed plant valued for its decorative qualities across the Federation.
The quadruped didn’t care about how it looked as it munched happily.
It had been a good season and it had grown large and strong, 1.7 meters at the shoulder, and had several successful matings thus far…
And the scars from the battles that earned him that right.
A rustling in the leaves made it crouch and raise its head, ready to run or fight.
It sniffed the air. There wasn’t the strange cloying scent of the feathered screeching killers with their glowing lights that burned and killed nor was there the more natural musk of the two legged ones who made thunder and smelled of fire or the furred ones.
It was the furred ones that frightened him the most with their silent flying teeth.
It wasn’t any of them or the other less concerning strange killers that would sometimes stalk these woods.
It was just a little leaf digger.
He snorted at it and the digger fled. He didn’t have to but he was embarrassed at his fear. Besides, those roots were his.
The digger would have to find their own.
He ate his fill and decided that it was a good time to get water. He had smelled a female near where this trail ended at the water and based on the age of the markings, she might be there now.
Or he could get a fresher trail.
He strode down the trail, scanning for any danger.
There was none.
The gentle slope started to become steeper as he approached the wide flowing water at the trail’s end.
Suddenly, he started to slip!
He tried to back away but his hooves kept slipping, one after another!
He started to slide down the slope, slowly at first but he kept sliding faster each second. Soon he was desperately scrabbling for any purchase on the hard packed slimy dirt.
With a panicked bellow, he fell. Flailing wildly he slid ever faster towards the bottom, his legs coated in a strange slimy stuff he had never seen before.
Finally, he slid into a lump of leaves and dirt at the bottom. Still scrambling he tried to clamber onto the mound.
The mound shifted in a strange fashion. Was it a log?
Suddenly the mound was on top of him. That was odd.
No! The mound was moving!
Bellowing with fear and anger the creature tried to struggle but it couldn’t get up, only thrash beneath this strange sticky… thing. It tried to bring its wickedly sharp horn to bear but the mound had already flowed onto its head, pressing it downward into a slimy puddle.
There was something sticky and wet covering it now! It was getting into his nose, his mouth.
He couldn’t breathe!
He was one of the strongest creatures in the forest but the harder he fought, the deeper he sank into the strange slimy sticky soft earth beneath him.
He couldn’t breathe!
His thrashing became weaker and weaker…
Until it stopped completely.
“ghud...” the mound bubbled as it pressed its mouth against the creature’s still warm neck.
***
“Now tell me,” Caw said in a strangely calm voice, “Why can’t we find her?”
“It has to do with their physiology, councilor,” the other Xx responded in a polite, precise manner.
Nobody was playing anymore.
The other Xx continued.
“It just so happens that the Baleel possess a very common set of amino acids, in fact, their amino acids are a subset of the amino acid profile of the planet itself. There is no unique protein to focus on which to focus our scans. We are having to analyze protein sequences instead which wouldn’t be a problem except that we are having to cover a lot of area since she could have left the river at any point or could still be floating along with the current.”
“And we are limited to the equipment we had at the embassy,” Caw said in a perfectly calm manner.
“Right,” the other Xx replied. “Security sweepers and package sniffers have the sensitivity, but not the range. We are having to bob and weave over the river and along the banks like murder-flies.”
“Fuck it,” Caw muttered.
“Councilor?” the other Xx asked.
“We’re out of time, beyond out of time,” Caw said. “Start focusing your efforts on the banks further upstream. I’m going to call in a favor.”
“You said we would keep this to ourselves,” Ambassador Marsamen objected, “You said-”
He fell silent. If looks could kill the ambassador would be no more.
“What would you prefer, Ambassador,” Caw hissed in a dangerous tone. “Me calling in a favor from someone who knows when to keep their mouth shut or some nature lover finding a naked Baleel corpse, loaded to the gills with five-threes, during their morning walk?”
“Well, I...” the ambassador said weakly.
“Not that you get a say in this anyway,” Caw hissed.
He sighed and then facepalmed.
“Get me in touch with the Darksea’s Mysteries.” he said between his feathered fingers.
A kalent wearing what appeared to be a thin bodystocking appeared on his HUD. “What do you want, Xx?”
“You are the (ahem) diplomatic vessel responsible for toting around a certain august personage that is currently a guest of the humans in the Locus?”
“Our passengers, whoever they may be, are none of your concern, Xx.”
“Well that passenger owes a certain Baleel a solid and WILL DEFINITELY want you to assist me. Call them, now, and tell them that Karashel the Baleel needs help that you can provide. You do NOT want him to find out that you failed him, or Karashel.”
The kalent glared at Caw and terminated the communication.
Ambassador Marsamen just looked at Caw in complete shock. First the Xx and now the Kalent?
Caw’s HUD flashed indicating an incoming message.
It was the Kalent.
“Councilor, Itsheesh,” the kalent said in a much more polite tone. “How can we help Councilor Karashel?”
The Ambassador’s eyes bulged slightly as Karashel’s name was spoken with much more respect than the Caw’s.
What had Karashel been up to?
***
Half a dozen grav vehicles descended upon a shallow depression in the middle of the woods surrounding Capital City.
“Fan out!” Caw shouted as the Xx started sprinting in a skirmish line down a narrow game trail.
Suddenly a strange silvery craft appeared in front of them.
“She is beneath us, Xx.” a Kalent voice announced as the craft started to land.
Caw ran headlong down the path…
And promptly went head over heels as a patch of what appeared to be normal ground dissolved into a slimy mess.
Caw screeched as he started to slide down the slope, unable to stop himself as everything he grabbed broke down into more of this slippery slimy muck.
Coated head to toe in a mixture of mud and slime Caw finally came to rest against a small mound of dirt and leaves.
It was really soft…
And it grunted as it rolled over on top of him.
“Moar...” a strange soulless voice bubbled.
“Kara!” Caw exclaimed. “We were so worr-… um… Kara?”
Caw started to try to extricate himself from underneath his friend only to find that the underside of a Baleel’s foot can be quite… grippy.
“Kara?… Kara! Kara!” Caw screeched.
As Karashel slowly flowed over his body Caw turned his head to the side…
and found himself looking right into the wide open eyes of a magnificent green stag, a dead magnificent green stag with a hole bored deep into its throat.
He suddenly realized what “Moar” meant.
Oh shit.
“Kara!” he squawked as Karashel continued to flow up his body, “Karashel! Councilor Karashel!...”
“Caw?” a female Xx security officer asked in an uncertain voice as she raised her weapon.
“Forgive me, Kara,” Caw said quietly, “Twenty-five percent stun… FIRE!” he shouted.
Karashel convulsed once, her eyes shooting out like party noise makers before collapsing.

To buy another car or trade or keep this car?

[Offer] Leftover keys from Humblebundle

The X factor for TSLA Valuation

Mom begs for money despite buying new house and car.

The Big Boys Meal Plan by JM Blakley

Thought this would be useful for people here. Enjoy!
————————————————-
JM Blakley is a bench press specialist who wrote many insightful articles for PLUSA magazine a few years back. Here is my favorite and it’s a must-read for those who complain about not being able to gain weight. Here it is:
Good Eating Cold, hard fact number one: If you gain weight, you will get stronger. Everybody already knows that. Even if most of the weight is not good weight, it will nevertheless have a positive effect on strength. Of course, there is the argument that the weight one gains should be quality weight (i.e. muscle, which is preferable) but the truth is that even adipose and water weight can contribute to heavier poundages lifted. It is beyond the scope of this article to address the exact physiological mechanisms for this but tissue leverage is commonly cited as the main reason for the phenomenon. My purpose is not to explain why this happens but rather to explain how to take advantage of the fact that it happens. Weight moves weight!
If you understand and accept this, you have probably tried to bulk up? Eat some point in your training. You also have probably experienced the frustration, first-hand, of just how difficult it can be to gain weight. Anyone can gain 15-20 pounds (and they often do on accident!) but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m speaking of adding on 35-40 pounds on purpose with a combination of extra-heavy lifting and extra-heavy eating! If anyone is confused about what I’m saying here then this article is not for you. I won’t waste your time explaining and justifying the need for some lifters to put on weight. But for those of you who have been desperately trying to get your weight up and crack through a plateau, let’s get to it. Why can’t you seem to gain weight?
DO THE MATH
Quite simply, you aren’t eating enough! I know, I know, you eat all the time, you eat more than everyone you know, you have a fast metabolism, yadda, yadda, yadda. I know all the excuses. I used them myself. I even believed them. But there are rules in the universe. We are bound by the laws of physics and no one is pardoned. Creating a positive caloric balance is completely defined by the equation: calories in vs. calories out = calories net. That’s it. No one escapes it. If you eat more calories than you use in a day, you will gain weight. Period. There is some fluxuation for metabolic shifts and the efficiency of the body’s absorption of calories, granted, but this effect is small and it is the rare person who exhibits a metabolism that could bear the blame for one unable to manipulate their weight. More about this later, but for now get it straight- your metabolism is not to be a scapegoat for your lack of discipline. You must eat more. If your metabolism speeds up then you must eat even more to cover that. There is a limit to how fast your metabolism can run. You must stay ahead of it. And you must learn to control it. Above all, you must accept the unarguable fact that you must put more food into your mouth.
My favorite question to ask those people who think they are eating tons of food but not gaining weight is, “what do you weigh?” Then when they answer (let’s say 195 lbs. for example) I respond “and how long have you weighed that?” They almost always answer that they have been at their current weight for over one year and often much longer. To this I quip “then you are eating enough to maintain 195 pounds. If you want to weigh 215, you need to eat more than a person who weighs 195. You have to eat like a person who weighs 215! You have proven that you eat only enough to keep your weight steady. You’ve been 195 for some time now! And what you’re eating is enough to hold that. But it’s not enough to drive it up. So if you think you’re eating all this extra food, think again. You’re eating a maintenance feed lot. You need a growth feed lot! If you’ve been eating like a 215 pounder all last year, you would weigh 215 now! You’re not eating any more than any other 195 pounder! Try harder! Eat more!” The only hole in this example is the energy output of the individual. But all things being equal, I hope you are getting the point here. You can’t gain weight if you don’t eat more.
The general principle is this: train as hard as you can to create a stimulus for growth. Then feed the body everything it needs to adapt. You must cover three needs. The recovery, the repair, and the growth. Some trainees only eat enough to recover from the last workout. They will end up overtrained because they aren’t meeting the need for repair and their tissues begin to break down under the strain of heavy lifting. Other lifters will eat enough to recover and repair, but not enough to cover the expense of growth. These lifters end up on a constant plateau, having hard workouts, recovering from them and not overtraining, but never seeing progress. It’s a stalemate (the maintenance feed lot group). They train for years and somehow excuse the lack of results to genetics or another bogey man. You have to cover all three aspects of nutrient need recovery, repair, and growth. First , eat enough to recover from the stress of a training session. Second, eat enough to repair any damage the workout may have caused.(If you are training very heavy, there is always micro-trauma occurring at the cellular level). Third, you must eat even more to cover the cost of your body building itself up. If you don’t eat these extra calories, where will the body get the energy to do the building? And what ,pray tell, do you suppose it will use for building material? Your body needs stuff (matter) to build with. You can’t build something out of nothing. The body needs substance to convert into body mass. That substance is food.
The only way to be absolutely certain that you are getting the most out of your workout is to eat more than you need for recovery, repair, and growth. You will begin to see a bit of bodyfat start to accumulate. Please don’t misunderstand me and think I’m telling everyone to get obesely fat. I’m only suggesting a light layer of “winter weight” or a “softening” You should never let your bodyfat percentage rise above unhealthy levels, and never put on what you can’t get off.
This is what I call bathing the cells in nutrients. You give them all they need and then a little bit extra which you can see usually around your middle. Remember; it’s OK to put it on to gain strength if you also plan to take it off later and maintain your new strength level when you diet. Just make sure you get around to dieting sooner or later! This way every workout has the nutrients it needs to give it the chance to be fully effective. Step one is the realization that you are ,in fact, not eating enough. Some trainees will admit this but then have trouble with the work of eating. To this I say only: DISCIPLINE! You must eat on schedule. You must eat what you are supposed to. You must not excuse yourself from eating what you are supposed to when you are supposed to. This is the self same discipline that everyone recognizes the need for in losing weight. It is no different for you who would choose to gain weight. No one feels sorry for a person who says they are trying to lose a few pounds and then proceeds to attend meetings with Ronald McDonald, Ben and Jerry, and Bud Weiser. And I don’t feel sorry for those who lack the discipline to eat more.
I know how difficult it can be. But I am reminded of the time I was complaining to a friend about how hard I was trying to get my weight up to 300 pounds and how tough it was for me to eat so much, and boo-hoo-hoo. The friend looked at me, clearly fed up with my whining, and remarked “I see several people over 300 lbs at work (he was a physical therapist) and they really don’t seem to be trying all that hard! They weigh 300 and they don’t try!”
This put it in better perspective for me. I even had the advantage of working out with weights to help boost my weight and these guys were out eating me and my best effort without so much as a second thought. If people can do it on accident, I could certainly do it on purpose! And I did. So can you.
Admit that you are undereating. Then admit that you are not trying your best. I don’t believe you if you tell me you can’t eat any more than you are eating now. If you tell me you can’t eat any more, I’ll tell you that you just can’t have what you want then. (I never argue with someone who tells me they can’t). That’s the universe’s law, not mine. If you can’t do the work, you can’t have the reward. Sorry. Now, do you really mean can’t or is it more like won’t? If you want it, you can. Ask anybody who has.
Those are the two biggest roadblocks to gaining weight. Admitting that you are not doing the job and that your effort has been less than stellar, and realizing that if others can do it so can you. Once you accept those responsibilities, instead of complaining and passing the buck, you can get to the business of getting down to it. And that, my friends, is the same in all endeavors, if you are willing to pay the price, you can have the reward. I will readily admit that it seems to be easier for some than others. But the price is relative. You are not anyone else. You must not compare the ease or difficulty which you are presented to anyone else’s situation. So what if it is easier for your pal to gain weight than you? What does that have to do with you? Nothing. Your task is your task. If you must eat 400 calories more than him to get the same results, then that’s the price for you . You decide for yourself whether to pay up or not. Oh yeah, I should mention – life’s not fair. He got a discount and you got taxed. So what? You can still both have it. Are you willing to pay or not? If you’re not, you’re not. But your reason shouldn’t be because it cost you more than someone else. When someone wants something bad enough they’ll pay double! They don’t care- they are just happy to get it.
What I’m telling you is that you can gain weight if you accept the fact that it is possible and that it is going to be hard. I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it. Get rid of any excuse or explanation for not gaining other than I’m not trying hard enough. I must try harder. Then you’re on your way. Blame only yourself for past shortcomings and resolve to bring whatever it takes to the table from now on.
Tricks of the Trade: Big Boy’s Menu Plan
One secret is caloric density. Learn to eat foods that provide more calories per unit volume. That is, they give you lots of calories for how much space they take up in the gut. 250 calories of salad fills you up even with the dressing but a chocolate bar would only feel like a snack. Also, add lots of condiments to your food. Carry mayo with you and add lots of it to everything. Same goes for Thousand Island dressing and chocolate sauce. Be creative and never eat anything that you don’t add calories to in some way. Melt provolone cheese over your pasta. Put ranch dressing on your pizza. Dip potato chips in honey. I don’t care what sick and twisted combinations you come up with, as long as you find it palatable. You wouldn’t believe some of the things I’ve eaten. ( Try a bowl full of peanut butter smothered in maple syrup and a stick of butter in the microwave for 30 seconds. Lay two Hershey bars over it to melt and you’ll just start to understand.)
Carry food with you. Always have a jar of peanuts in your car. Carry Pop-Tarts, Slim Jim meat snacks, candy bars, anything handy that travels well and needs no special preparation. Never get caught away from food. Put it in your desk, your locker, your gym bag, your brief case, hell, carry some around in your pockets if you have to! Never miss a meal because you couldn’t eat. What’s that? Couldn’t eat? It takes less than 50 seconds to eat two candy bars. That’s over 500 calories. Even if you have to sneak it on the job, go to the john and wolf them down. You must never be without food. Take some with you. and never say you didn’t have time (50 seconds?!) or opportunity. Find time or make time.
Eat immediately upon arising. Start right away. You lost time sleeping – you weren’t eating! Fill up first thing in the morning. Don’t wait! You went several hours without any food. The longer you wait the less time you have to get all the food your supposed to eat down. If you wait long enough it will be impossible to make it. You’ll run out of time. Get off to a solid start. Minimum first meal calories: 1200. Eat over a grand right away and the rest of the day will be easier. Eat less, and you’ll be playing catch-up all day long. Eat just prior to bed. You are going to go for hours without food? Euel up! This is your last chance to feed your body for a long time give it one last push. This is uncomfortable for many, but with practice you will adapt and be able to eat a good calorie load before retiring. Shoot for 500 calories minimum.
Try foods you used to dislike or have never eaten before. After several weeks of overeating, everything begins to taste the same. Even your favorite foods lose their flavor. You exhaust your repertoire of choices. Open it up. Go for the calamari or the shark fin soup. Try a quiche. Eat at an ethnic restaurant. Find new favorites that you can eat lots of. I hated cottage cheese as a youngster, but now I mix it in with spaghetti and dump it into soups! I even eat the fat free variety on a reducing diet! You will surprise yourself. Don’t be afraid to try. You may still dislike salmon, but you may get a taste for artichoke after all. Drink regular soda pop (possibly caffeine free) and whole milk. Never drink any fluids that don’t have calories. No tea without sugar, no coffee without cream and sugar, no diet beverages whatsoever. No plain water! Canned soda pop is an excellent source of purified water. But it also has precious calories. Gatorade is fine and has electrolytes as well. 108 ounces a day is the minimum. But don’t fill your stomach without putting some calories in along with. A 12 0z. can of soda pop has about 150 calories. Quench your thirst and give your body more calories at the same time. ( I’m not knocking water, folks, I’m just illustrating that you can hydrate yourself and get calories in the bargain. )
Count your calories. You may think you are consuming an abundance of food, but you’re probably giving yourself too much credit. It is very hard to eat over 5000 calories every day for weeks on end. And if its 7 or 8,000 you think you’re getting in every day I think you’d better check that. Often a trainee will eat 6,000 calories on Monday, but then stoop to 3500 or so for the next two days. Then Thursday maybe get 5500 and follow that for two days of 3000. all the while they believe that they are eating 6000 every day. Avoid this kind of fluxuation. Keep a solid average. And keep track. At least for a series of days every now and then. A few days a month check up on yourself. If your goal is 5500 calories a day add it all up and make sure. You’ll soon get better at estimating and you won’t have to go through this so much. But take my advice, if you are not seeing the scale move the way you think it should, double check your count. You most likely are overestimating your intake. This gives you feedback so you can make adjustments. Even if you’re an old pro at calorie counting it’s a good idea to take account every so often.
Issues and Precautions
This kind of diet is admittedly not the most conducive to your overall health. But we should get one thing straight – you are not doing it for health reasons, you are doing it for better performance in your chosen sport. This is one of those “quality of life” issues. You choose to pursue powerlifting because of reasons other than improved health such as challenge, personal pride, self esteem benefits, sense of strength, or any other of a basket full of psycho/emotional reasons not to mention the sheer fun of it! There are plenty of health benefits to the sport of powerlifting and weight training in general which have all been outlined many times before. I acknowledge those, of course, I’m just saying that if you are competing and trying to bulk up, you probably have more personal motives for continuing to put so much into this sport. And those motives most likely supersede any health benefits.
Having said that, let me turn the table back on your health. This style of diet can have very serious effects on your body. One effect is a dramatic improvement in your strength. But another effect is an increase in your blood cholesterol level! It would be irresponsible of me to ignore the down side? So I’ll give a few suggestions of what I feel is prudent and responsible behavior that would accompany such an eating program. (It’s all common sense, anyway!)
Have your cholesterol checked before you begin. Get a baseline. If you have high levels, you may want to reconsider and see your doctor about options to lower it.
Check your cholesterol every 15-20 pounds that you gain. Or every 10 weeks on the diet. Set a limit with your doctor as to how high you will permit it to rise and remain on the diet. If it goes above such-and-such a number, abort.
Do some form of cardiovascular exercise. Minimum 3 days per week. I know you don’t want to spend the precious calories on cardio, but the cv exercise will help keep the cholesterol down as well as abating some of the inevitable sluggishness that comes with weight gain. I’ve done it both with and without cv and I feel much, much better with a daily walk. And you can eat just one more snickers bar to cover it. All the while your heart gets some exercise and your metabolism doesn’t get so loggy.
Check your blood pressure at the start and then every four days while on the diet. Get your own monitor or find one of the countless free places that you can have it taken for you. Use the same equipment every time. Expect some increase in bp. Consult your doctor and make a decision as to what you both will tolerate. If your bp goes past the limit you have set, abort.
Issues of sleep apnea can develop. This is a tough disorder in which you interrupt your breathing for a few seconds all through the night and wake up in the morning exhausted from gasping for 8 hours! This affects a huge number of people in the US but commonly is made worse by gaining weight. If it affects you, you may not know it?You’re asleep while it’s going on. But sooner or later someone will tell you, your wife, your girlfriend, your next-door neighbor. It’s often confused for a bad case of snoring. But after a couple of weeks of full nights rest and an accompanying deep fatigue, you will begin to suspect something is wrong. I wish I had some sort of fix-it for this but the only advice I can give is to try propping yourself up at a slight incline when you sleep and put up with it as much as your significant other will allow. If it is too much of a problem, seek medical attention and decide what else to try. If you must, abort. You won’t see the progress you want in your training if you’re not getting the rest you need.
Have a full blood work up done (this will most likely accompany your cholesterol but ask for it any way. These days health care professionals are cutting costs and if you ask for cholesterol values that may be all that gets run!). Of special interest are : triglycerides, liver enzymes, thyroid levels especially T-4 and TSH, and any values having to do with pancreatic function. These can become upset with drastic changes in dietary habits and need an eye kept on them.
Measure your bodyfat percentage. Set a limit to how high you will let it go. Remeasure it every 10 pounds you gain. See how many pounds are muscle and how many are fat. A good bargain is 1 pound of muscle for every 2-3 lbs of fat. If you are a master lifter, consider your medications and consult your doctor about the effect weight gain may have on any of them especially heart meds. Your dosage may need to be adjusted.
Remember that the weight gain is to be temporary. You should plan a reducing diet to follow at a specified time in your training. This is where you attempt to maintain most of the new strength you amassed during the bulking phase while lowering your body fat to the same level you started at. You are not training to get stronger, only to hold the strength you have while dropping the excess. Commit yourself to the goal of returning to your starting level of bodyfat and see how much of the new strength you’re kept. If you diet right, it should be above 80%. So that is your true gain. The gain you keep after gaining and losing the excess bodyfat is what counts. If you gain 20 lbs on your bench and lose 15 when you diet, you missed the point. If you gain 20 lbs on the bench and keep 15 (16) you’ve achieved something and done it correctly. Now repeat this process as necessary!! I suggest that you only hold your weight heavy for no longer than 5-6 months before you diet back down. Each time you repeat this process, you will hold more strength and have more muscle mass than before. Avoid staying heavy too long. It is only temporary!
These things will help you minimize the risks associated with the rigors of body weight manipulation. Competitive sports all have risks. Every highschooler who puts on a football helmet on Friday night and knocks heads with the cross-town rivals takes the risk of spinal injury. Risks are unavoidable and usually increase with the level of play. Just be responsible. Take care of yourself within the risks. Do what you can to minimize them. Pay attention. If you don’t watch your blood pressure, how do you know if you might not be begging for a stroke? For Christmas sake, at least know what you’re levels are. You can always decide to do what is right for you. Continue or stop. Or continue on a different course. But at least do the best you can to stay as healthy as you can.
Remember: If you want to beat the man, you’ve got to out-eat the man! Good eating, J.M.

Ok - that's it! I'm trading in my car for one of these!

Welcome to Rocket League, lets get started! (a comprehensive guide)

Welcome to Rocket League

I want to welcome all new players to the world of Rocket League, a fast paced and physics based car soccer game that is super fun to play at any skill level.
To help you get started I’ve created a comprehensive guide to all things Rocket League. I’ll be going through everything you need from your first goal to becoming the highest rank in this game: Supersonic Legend.
The first step we’ll take is going through the games interface and explaining the basics of the game. Please take note that the latest update was just released and some things might be slightly different or net yet updated on any of the links I added.

^{^For} ^{^returning} ^{^players:} ^{^A} ^{^quick} ^{^link} ^{^to} ^{^a} ^{^good} ^{^post} ^{^about} ^{^Epicgames} ^{^account} ^{^linking} ^{^and} ^{^trouble} ^{^shooting.}

Menu and Options

Main menu << See image

This is the main menu, we’ll focus on Garage, Inventory, Play, Training and Options.
Your banner, Avatar, Avatar border, [TEAM TAG], Profile name, XP level and XP progress bar.
Rocket League news ticker with the latest news
Rocket League Friends List and your RocketID (watch this explanation) ^{^*slightly} ^{^outdated}

Garage
One of the first things you’ll want to do is choose a car body and make it your own. You can do this in the Garage menu. There are a lot of ways for you to customize your car in Rocket League, there are different bodies, wheels, decals, boost, toppers, trails, antennas and more for you to create your own unique car setup. You can customize,manage and save your presets so you can quickly switch between them.
Choosing your first car body will probably be based on visual preference first, whichever one you think is the coolest looking car. When you get the hang of the basic controls you’ll want to try out other car bodies because they all feel a bit different. There are visual differences in car bodies but there are also 6 different hit boxes where the handling, height and length of the car is different. You’ll find that the difference between the Breakout and the Octane is much bigger than the difference between the Octane and the Road Hog. At the start the car body choice doesn’t matter that much, later on when you get better you’ll see that most players use the Octane or Dominus (or cars with those hit boxes). You can read more about car bodies and hit boxes at the bottom of this post.

Inventory
The more you play, the more items you collect via drops or through other means. With the inventory you can manage them although this is a very basic and still underdeveloped part of Rocket League. You can archive items or tag them as favorite, sort and filter on quality and attributes. Rocket League customization items are a world on it’s own with online fashion advice subreddits and a buzzing trade community. If you want to know more about item quality, certification, colors and the communities around this then read the Rocket League Items and Trading section down below.

Play

There are six tabs in the Play menu: Casual, Competitive, Tournaments, Training, Extra modes and Custom games.

Casual
Casual is where you’ll start out in the beginning to play car soccer with friend or other players from your region. It’s all about quick games and having fun, you can join and leave mid-game without penalty but it’s appreciated when you stick around (even if you’re a goal down). Casual doesn’t have ranks but it does try to match you with players that are on the same skill level.
Competitive
Competitive is where it gets serious and you battle other players for MMR points and try to get a higher rank, you’re expected to really try your best to win the game for your team. You get a rank per playlist (1v1, 2v2, 3v3) so you can be Bronze in 1’s but Gold in 2’s. When you start out in Competitive you first have to play 10 placement matches before you see what rank you are. There is a option here called Arena Preferences where you get to like and dislike certain Arenas which makes it less likely or more likely you encounter them. I only use the global settings and don’t bother with a setting per playlist.
Tournaments
Tournaments are where you'll be able to compete in official Psyonix tournaments and win items or sign up for player generated tournaments. Tournaments have been recently revamped and you'll find more info on it from the official news item.
Training
Training is very important in Rocket League, it is the fastest way to improve at the game and get the hang of all the different mechanics. Starting out you’ll want to do the tutorial and the Goalie, Striker and Aerial training. When you’ve got some basic understanding on the core mechanics you can practise hitting the ball around in free-play or try out one of the many community made training packs. Same with the Rocket League items, there is a whole world out there on training, best practises and fastest ways to improve. I’ll expand on those in the FAQ, tutorial and guides section. But before you worry about that first be bad at the game, be bad and laugh your ass off at the hilarious situations you’ll be in with your teammates. Or you know… lose yourself in this list of training packs.
Extra modes
Extra modes are fun variations on Rocket League. Snow day is with a puck instead of a ball, Hoops is like basketball, Dropshot is a mode where you have to break the floor tiles to score and Rumble is like normal Rocket League but with cool power ups. Hoops is the only 2v2 mode, the others are all 3v3. Try them out as they all ask a slightly different set of skills.
Custom games
This is something you will want to check out especially when you are starting out in Rocket League.

Exhibition and Season mode Here you can battle it out with and against bots which is a great way to improve your gameplay and measure how you much you are improving. You'll start out 1v1 against an easy bot and gradually increase the difficulty, at a certain point (many hours later) you will be able to 1v4 bots with ease. Be sure to switch it up though because playing against bots is very different than against real players.
Private match is where you can join or host a match with friends or when you are in a LAN party
Workshop (steam only) has some great community driven content to have fun and improve. There's more information on this in the Mods and Applications section below.

Options

Ok time to go and look at all the settings you can play around with. I won’t go into too much detail because Pro players Squishy Muffinz and Scrub Killa have made really great videos on this where they walk you through all the settings and explain what they do so I can’t recommend that enough! Watch Squishy Muffinz and Watch Scrub Killa.

Gameplay
You can leave the most on default but the two of the most changed settings on this screen are

Text chat

Specify what kind of text chat you want, all, quickchat, team or off. Sometimes you’ll notice it can be relaxing to actually turn this off for a while.

Cross-platform play

My preference is to only play with players on the same platform (pc) because there is a slight difference in the kind of players you encounter. Also you can’t actually communicate with other platforms other than through quick chat so keep that in mind.

Game stat display level

Sometimes too much information can be annoying and distract you, find your personal preference.

Camera
Probably the most changed settings in Rocket League. The default settings are just plain wrong so make sure you adjust these to your personal preference as soon as possible. Starting out in Rocket League most players prefer to have sort of a birds eye view, high angle and distance. This setting is great for your awareness in game but do really hurt your precision when hitting the ball. It’s fine to start out with a higher distance and angle though but you’ll soon want to edge more towards the ‘pro settings’. I mean there’s a reason the pros use it. Don’t be afraid to adjust these settings throughout your time playing because your personal preferences might change over time.

Camera presets are not really used, wide angle is the only one that’s playable.
Camera shake is something you’ll want to turn off… OFF!
Field of view you can put on 110, this gives you the most awareness.
Distance is something you can play around with but remember that the further you are from your car the less precision you have when hitting the ball. Being to close to your car will hurt your awareness though so try and keep this between 260 and 310. Also keep in mind that the Stiffness also affects the distance (more stiffness = closer to your car).
Height should be anywhere from 90 to 120. Height and Angle affect each other so if you have a high angle you can have a lower height.
A high Angle gives you a better view on what’s behind the ball but can affect your ability to hit the ball in the right spot. Especially when you start air dribbling you’ll find that a higher angle is not to your advantage. Most players keep this between -3 and -5.
Stiffness can be anything from 0 to 1. Most players use between 0.35 and 0.75 but there are some that have it all the way to 1. More stiffness means that your camera is almost fixed to your car, less stiffness and you’ll notice that on low speeds you are close to your car and when you’re boosting the camera moves a bit further away.
Swivel speed is how fast your camera moves when looking around and
Transition speed is how quickly the screen transitions between car and ball cam.
Invert swivel inverts the swivel direction on your camera controls.

Controls
Here you can adjust controller sensitivity and deadzone but it’s better to leave this on default until you’re a bit more comfortable with the game and then experiment with sensitivity and deadzone.

Controller bindings
In Rocket League you can change all the controls bindings you want. The default bindings are not ideal but configuration of the controls is purely based on your own preferences. What I have changed is Powerslide and Airrol on L1, boost on R1, jump on X and ballcam on square just to make sure I have access to everything simultaneously. I will link you to a list of all the pro controllers settings so you can find a logical setup for yourself

Interface
There are a bunch of interface options you can adjust here which are mostly self-explanatory. I like to increase the nameplate scale to improve my view on the opponents and force default team colors because I’m old and don’t like change ;)

Video

Consoles

Video settings on consoles are purely cosmetic and dependent on personal preference, they do not really impact how the game runs on the console. If you think you can do without the weather effects then disable them. If you want to improve your experience on your console then I recommend connecting it to a monitor and making sure the console is connected to the internet via a wired connection instead of wireless.

Choosing the right video settings on PC can make a huge difference though and with all the different setups it's important to make sure Rocket League runs as smooth as possible. There is so much to say about this that I'll just share some really interesting links with you guys. This ranges from simply optimizing the in-game setting to changing the .ini file and Windows graphics settings.

This reddit post from Deflows about competitive settings.
This article from Dignitas about the best settings
This article from Ghostarrow.com
This article from Esportstales.com on the TAsystemsettings ini file
These video's from Rocket Science 1, 2, 3

Audio
You might not realize this but sound has an important role in this game. Hearing opponents boosting or jumping can help your decision making on the field. It might all be overwhelming in the beginning but soon enough you'll notice you are reacting on sound cues rather than visual cues. So play around with the settings and try to minimize the sounds that are only distracting or unnecessary.

Chat
Quick chat is the only way to communicate cross-platform but is also super useful to quickly inform teammates or compliment them on a play. You can set up different quick chats in settings and some of them are really helpful in-game: I got it!, All yours, Centering!, Thanks!, Nice one!. Others seem really positive like Wow! and What a Save! but you'll soon learn that they will be used just as often when you make a mistake. Don't worry about that because even after playing this game for 2000 hours you will still make mistakes and people will still be salty about this. So don't worry about mistakes, they are part of the game. Toxic behavior shouldn't be though so don't be afraid to disable chat.

Starting the play

3, 2, 1, Go!

Now that you've got the right controls, video and camera settings you're ready to hit the Rocket League arenas and score some sick goals. First thing you'll want to do is just have some fun playing solo or with a team. Get a good feel for the game and score some bangers!
When you realize how much fun this game is and you want to climb the competitive ranks you'll want to improve as quickly as possible. The tutorials section below will help you out greatly, I've tried to create a list of the best content out there to help you improve quickly. Apart from the best settings and controls there is something far more important that you'll need: A positive mind set.
Before I leave you with all the great content below I want to give you one more bit of personal advice:
Be a good teammate and opponent.
We are all here to play a game and have fun, be positive, supportive and adjust to their playstyle as best you can. The more players do this the better the online experience will be and you're a part of that! Be forgiving of your own and other players' mistakes, you’ll all be making a lot of them so it’s going to be tiresome to get tilted all the time. Remember the human! They all have their own stuff to deal with, Rocket League might be a way for them to escape that so make it something where they feel welcome. We all get tilted sometimes and that is OK... it’s just in the way you handle that. When you realise you’re getting tilted take a step back and do something else, play a less tilting game or go outside and take a break. It will keep you from bombing your rank or getting banned.
If nothing else, be the teammate you’d want to play with. Good luck out there and see you on the field!

General information

Setting you up with all the sources of information about Rocket League. If you have a question be sure to check out the official Rocket League FAQ section. When you can’t find the answer there then hop on to the subreddit and ask away.

Rocket League

Link	Description
Rocketleague.com	The official Rocket League site, they have a great support page with FAQ section
Rocketleagueesports.com	All you need to know about Rocket League Esports
Twitter	Rocket League's twitter account is a great place to stay informed about small patches and server problems
Facebook	Psyonix shares community highlights and news items here, just don't look in the comments.

Subreddits

Link	Description
Rocket League	The main Rocket League subreddit.
Rocket League Esports	The sub dedicated to RL Esports, you'll see a lot of pros on here joining the discussion.
Rocket League Exchange	Want to trade items? This is a good subreddit to start getting into trading.
Rocket League Fashion advice	Post (or steal) some design ideas here so you can look extra fly while flying.

Wiki

Link	Description
Fandom Wiki	A Rocket League Wiki with lots of information
Liquipedia	A lot of information on Rocket League Esports

FAQ, tutorials and guides

The game has been out for 5 years now so there is a ton of information out there already. I’ve made a selection for you to get started, make sure you also check out the content creators section because they keep you updated with the latest meta. I will advise against hiring a coach before you hit high Platinum or Diamond because it’s just a question of getting in the hours and following the guides and tips below.

Type
FAQ	What is MMR	What are item certifications
	What are Ranks	What are item rarities
	What are Hit boxes	What are season rewards
	What are Rotations	What are server regions
	What is Boost management	How do I trade items
	All the mechanics	How do bans work

Guides and tutorials	From Dignitas	From Reddit/other
	Getting started in Rocket League	Huge list of Rocket League tutorials for Beginners and Advanced
	Take your gameplay to the next level	An In-depth Guide to Becoming Good at Rocket League
	Top 5 training packs - concistency	A Guide to the Metagame: Momentum, Pressure, and Defensive Tips
	How to defend your backboard	All Rocket League moves / skills with descriptions, links to tutorials, and organised
	Skills you need to reach GC	Playing the Last Man Role: A Guide for All Skill Levels
		Dribbling (And How To ACTUALLY Do It Well)
		A comprehensive guide to reach Grand Champion
		Gregans guide to rotations
		Advanced Guide to Boost Management and Flow
		Improving through Training Packs

Items and Trading

Some people just equip a standard car and never look back, the rest of us buy, trade and sell items to get the car setup we prefer. Titanium White and Black colored items are often the most valuable but don’t let anyone tell you your cobalt AnimusGP is less cool.

Link	Description
Rocket-league.com Garage	A great website to trade with other players
Rocket-league.com Shop	Here you can see what’s in the Rocket League shop right now and previously
RLinsider.gg	Check the item prices here
Exchange subreddit	A subreddit for trading
Reddit post	A post on how not to get scammed, what to look out for


Item list	What are rarities
What are certifications	How do you trade in
What is the item shop	What is the Esports shop
What are season rewards	What is the Rocket Pass

Mods and other applications (PC)

If you are on PC there are some really great tools out there that make playing Rocket League a whole lot better. Training with BakkesMod installed saves you so much time and GifYourGame is a great tool to make cool highlights you can share fast and easy. BakkesMod might only work with steam client and not with the Epic Games Client

Link	Description	Tutorial
BakkesMod	A must have mod for Rocket League, insanely good	Watch tutorial
BakkesPlugins	The plugins that you can install on BakkesMod
Workshops (Steam)	If you have the game on Steam client you can install workshop maps	Read how to
Air race Mod	A really cool Air Race Mod	Watch trailer
Rocket League Tracker	A in-game overlay that shows you player tracker information	Screenshot
GifYourGame	A app to instantly create gifs of your goals
Outplayed	Same as GifYourGame but different, auto records all goals
Ballchasing.com	Upload an analyse your replays, has a cool 3d replay viewer	FAQ
Calculated.gg	Like Ballchasing but with a slightly different approach

Rocket League Esports

I have already shared the Esports websites but to get a good idea on how much fun it is I really recommend watching these:

Content creators

Rocket League has some great content creators, this list isn’t complete but I think I’ve included the best known channels.

Name	About	Youtube	Twitch
Amustycow	Inventor of the musty flip and has some great tutorials - RLSpotlight	link	link
Athena	One of the biggest female RL streamers - RLSpotlight	link	link
Fluump	Need a Top10 list? search no more! - RLSpotlight	link
Gibbs	Mr Rocket League Esports	link	link
SubparbutinHD	Tutorials, Montages and Gameplay	link	link
ItsJSTN	Pro player famous for his Game7 overtime goal in the RLCS8 final	link	link
Jessie	Fails to fall in to any category	link	link
JHZER	Pro player and Freestyle king - RLSpotlight	link	link
JohnnyBoi_i	Great guy and great content - Get your 1v1 showmatch fix here	link	link
Jon Sandman	High energy and positive, first with a million subs -RLSpotlight	link	link
Kronovi	Veteran Pro player	link	link
Lawler	Esports commentatoanalyst.	link	link
Lethamyr	The definition of content creator	link	link
Rizzo	Pro player	link	link
Rocket Science	Everything you didn't know you needed to know	link	link
Scrub Killa	Pro player and known for his 1's domination	link	link
Sunless Khan	Really cool and diverse content, known for his 'Why you suck at rocket league' series - RLSpotlight	link	link
SquishyMuffinz	Pro player	link	link
Thanovic	Great tutorials	link	link
Virge	Pro Rocket league coach	link	link

If there is anything important I missed please contribute in the comments so I can add it when I post this again a few days after the release of F2P, have fun!
TLDR: Git gud NoOb!!

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